Dawn of the Dave

The Genius Contingent

2007-10-28T11:35:00.000Z

Eons ago, when myself and Lord Bunn were but students wasting our lives away and Geocities monopolised the free webspace industry, we ran a website. It wasn't a cool website, nor was it a particulary serious website, but we put alot of effort into it and nearly got it finished. It was called the Genius Contingent and was dedicated to the works of Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray and Chevy Chase. The idea was that we would review each and every movie made by these giants of comedic cinema in our own indomitable way - then leave the site and never update it again.

We got close. Almost. The first version went online around 1998 and it was last updated in 2002... by this time I had actually redesigned the whole site and made it smarter, funnier and more attractive, but I never got round to actually uploading the content and slowly, over time, the whole idea rotted away and the website was lost to the sands of time.

Until now. Lord Bunn has discovered, possibly to his and mine detriment, that the Genius Contingent is still alive and well and sitting on a foreign Geocities server somewhere. Well I'll be damned. And here it is, for all to see. Just make sure that when you read you should be imagining it to be smarter, funnier and more attractive than it actually is.

Rose Tinted TV

2007-10-18T13:32:00.000Z

There were four shows that I particulary loved as a child, that I remember very well, but are now viewed as flops and are too obscure to be even be shown on Bravo. These three shows were also notable because when I got to university and began those oh-so-nostalgic "do you remember..." conversations no-one else had heard of them.

No-one else, that is, except the friends who would later form the Media Lounge with me. This was back in the early-internet days and so they couldn't be looked up and even confirmed as existing, let alone confirmed as being good. Now, through the genius that is YouTube, they can be shown in all their hallowed glory.

First up; Cop Rock - the musical version of Hill Street Blues. I adored this when I was about 8 years old, now I watch it and think that it's remarkable I didn't end up a fan of cabaret.

The second is Simon & Simon, a cop show featuring crime fighting brothers - one is smart and conservative, the other rough and ready. The opening titles below are the ones that I remember, hell me and my sister used to replicate the 'feet up while a car passenger' position as often as possible, but check out these credits too that are remarkable just for how much time they spent looking through binoculars. I wasn't even sure this show was even real until it was mentioned in an episode of South Park.

The third was Automan which was on at 5.15 on BBC1 on a Saturday afternoon. This was another show where I couldn't find anyone else who'd heard of it, until Tom from ML made a flippant Automan joke. In these YouTube days almost anything can be found in an instant, but you have no idea how satisfying it was to find another human to confirm my memories. I recently downloaded the first episode of Automan and watched the whole thing; boy does it suck ass hard.

Finally, there was Whizz Kids. A show featuring kids and computers waaaaaay before even Matthew Broderick narly caused World War Three... my principle memory of this is that the main star slept in his socks, something the 8 year old me found very strange indeed.

I'm not writing this post in a "wasn't kids TV brilliant?" kind of way, nor am I wallowing in nostalgia for the hell of it, and I'm not laughing at how bad it was either... I'm writing this because I find it genuinely incredible that I have a few brief memories of somethings I watched over 20 years ago, and with a few simple keystrokes I can see them all again. The internet is part of everyday life and we've grown accustomed to it mighty easily, but every now and then I'm just blown away by how much it's changed the world. Sure, being able to watch a few credit sequences is hardly changing the world, but I think back to how hard it was convincing myself that what I had seen was even real, and now I see that I have remembered them almost exactly.

Makes me wish I'd learnt French at that age, or maybe the piano, or anything else other than the gaining capacity to remember minute details of shit TV shows.

Octaganarian Profanity

2007-10-12T23:36:00.000Z

A few weeks ago I was working night shoots on a movie that often had me getting home for around dawn. One morning as I was getting out the car, I noticed a milkfloat steadily climbing the hill that is my road. As I somewhat exhaustedly watched the elderly driver - easily in his early eighties I found myself with a sudden burst of nostalgia.

I realised that the milkfloat is rapidly decreasing sight in this day and age... I thought it wonderful that I could still catch one on the streets, and how it remembered them so vividly from my childhood. The driver had probably been doing this for decades, forced into a simple job when he reached the mandatory retirement age. I imagined him regarding his job as a vital service, as an honour and one that he would do until his dying day.

As a car came down the hill towards us he pulled into the space opposite my car, and smiled at me. I was suddenly overcome by that sensation that you sometimes get early in the morning; that you feel a part of a secret subculture that is hidden from the still sleeping world. That you are privy to a time when the city always looks the most beautiful, and at it's most peaceful, and is the quietest you've ever heard it. For a brief moment I was jealous of that old man.

The car ahead pulled into a space and parked up. The elderly milkman glanced my way, raised his eyebrows and revved the electric motor into a high pitched whine.

"Fucking cunt" he said to me angrily, "he could have told me he was fucking parking. Now it's going to take me fucking ages to get this bastard up the hill. What a cunt."

And with that he forced the milkfloat fowards and slowly it crawled up the hill. I blinked, and walked to my house. Just another day in Sheffield.

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This story reminds me of a monologue that Rob Newman once delivered on the Mary Whitehouse Experience. I can't remember it verbatim, but to paraphrase it went something like this:

"I was laying in bed with my girlfriend early one Sunday morning, unable to sleep. I was watching the dawn light streaming through the open window, and reflecting on the night before. We had had sex, but I had prematurely ejaculated and I was thinking of ways in which I could aplogise to her.

I wanted to explain that life was stressful, that I had money problems and it was a combination of many elements that had made me come early. It had nothing to do with her, she was beautiful and I loved her. As I considered my language I heard in the distance the sound of the rag and bone's man call.

"Raaag 'n' Booone."

His voice slowly came closer and I began to consider the man, how his call had evolved over many years from; "Does anyone have any rag and bone for me to collect" to his now near gutteral cry.

"Raaaaaaag 'n' boooooone."

As I thought about the slow development of his announcements, and my beautiful girlfriend who lay so blissfully in my arms, I rumicated over the two together. The old mans call and my own problems, his changing dialogue, and my intended apologetic language.

Soon my girlfriend stirred and blinked awake. She slowly took in her surroundings before turning to me and gazing, lovingly, into my eyes. I looked tenderly into hers and summoned my carefully planned words. Outside the window the rag and bone man began his mournful cry once more.

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaag 'n' boooooooooooone."

I stared deep into her eyes, took a deep breath and yelled "soooorry I caaame."

I love that joke.

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Been writing a few pieces for Watch With Mothers recently. Have a read if you have time:
Tesco Direct
The Peter Serafinowicz Show
ASDA Adverts
The X Factor

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Oh and I've joined Facebook. Everyone was right - it's really good and useful. That annoys me.

For Sale

2007-10-01T23:01:00.000Z

Anyone for a signed Bentley Rhythm Ace hoody?

I'll do it cheap for anyone who reads this blog...

Everything Went Wrong / I am 30

2007-09-25T21:44:00.000Z

The two aren't connected, although there is something strangely appropriate about the blogs all being granted a forced make-over at the same time I enter my 4th decade... not that I've done much to them, just a different template and some better organised links... still, it makes it look like I'm better at web design than I really am...

Not a terrific update this time around, I'm afraid. I'm too tired and too busy to come up with anything overtly hyperbolic at the moment. I've found recently that I have less and less time to do any writing, which is beginning to bother me. I've always been a firm believer in doing at least a couple of paragraphs a day - it keeps the mind supple and the abilities at an acceptable level - but recently it's become hard to devote time and conciousness to it. I hope it will change in the near future... in the mean time have a look at the balloon pictures on the newly rustified Day of the Dave.

Oh yeah, and I'm now 30. Life and association with sitcom characters begins here apparently.

This came from Paul Wolinski. www.decayofthedave.blogspot.com. Isn't he a sweety?

Save the Tinsley Towers

2007-08-28T00:21:00.000Z

The campaign to Save the Tinsley Towers is still going strong. They have a brand new website with all the information on at www.tinsleytowers.com
and they also have this utterly incredible short animation about the towers. Watch it now, it's freaking brilliant and reminded me why I love this city. Tom and Tom have worked so hard and so passionately on this project for so long and I think what they are doing is great.

Walk Hard

2007-08-16T22:49:00.000Z

Looks like a spoof oughta look...

Letter to HSBC

2007-08-15T11:59:00.000Z

This letter has been sent to Mark A Loker (Service Manager), Jim Large (General Manager UK Operations) and the Branch Manager HSBC Beeston.

Dear Sirs / Madam

Please find enclosed my original letter of complaint. I suggest you read it before continuing with this letter.

Before I go any further I wish to make it clear that I understand that the persons reading this letter are not directly responsible for the mistreatment I have received at the hands of HSBC. However, since the corporation is deemed, legally, to be a human being and you employees are the earthbound ambassadors I have no choice but to vent my frustrations at you directly. It’s not personal. I hope you understand this.

On the 12th July Mark A Loker sent me a reply to my initial letter promising a response to my complaints about the mismanagement of my account and what I thought were unfair bank charges. My original letter was not (repeat: NOT) concerned with the ongoing public debate about bank charges in general and was instead about a very specific incident. I have now waited over a month for my matter to be looked at and instead of the personal and detailed response I was expecting I received your standard letter (dated the 10th August) regarding the ongoing court case involving the OFT and the accusation of bank charge mishandlings. In this letter you state that no open complaints involving bank charges will be attended to until the general court case is settled.

The level of anger and frustration I feel at your response is so great that I am struggling to keep my language under control. It’s so great, in fact, that I am struggling not to immediately close down my account with HSBC and refuse to pay any loan payments or overdraft fees back just so I get a human, real response from you. Talking to HSBC is like shouting at a brick wall. Trying to raise a legitimate issue with you is akin to whispering at the bottom of a mountain and hoping, just hoping, that my voice may be lucky enough to be carried to the top. It never is. It never never never is. All I get for my troubles, for the ‘loyalty’ that you seem to crave so desperately, is the written equivalent of the middle finger – fobbing me off and letting my complaints drown amongst the voices of a million other dissatisfied customers.

My complaint was a simple one. I felt that you had unfairly managed my account and that there had been, somewhere along the line, either a human or computer error. All my complaint required was for one person – assumedly the manager of my branch to whom my letter was originally addressed – to assess the situation and make a decision. Easy. Really easy. I laid all the information out for you, I coherently described my situation and I respectfully asked for a swift response. Instead I got an empty letter promising to do something, a questionnaire asking about my loyalty to your organisation and now a letter which dismisses me with one fell swoop.

Is this how HSBC practices their business? Is this an example of being the Worlds Local BankTM? Is this how you hope to ensure my dedication to your corporation? If the answer is yes to any of those then you have severely misunderstood the needs of the banking public. All I ever wanted was to be treated like a human being (again, something you were very interested in finding out about in your beloved questionnaire) and have my complaint looked at by another human being who could make a decision. Instead I find myself wasting time writing to you AGAIN instead of the myriad of other things – IE my job – that I should be getting on with.

While I am sure it is wonderful being one of the worlds richest institutions, with your political connections, bottomless cash supply and army of lawyers, I assure that it is not so much fun on the receiving end. My issue was over a £150 bank charge – not exactly a lot of money to you but a quarter of a monthly wage to me – and instead of dealing with my complaint in an adult and responsible manner you have elected to simply throw me on a pile and forget about me for as long as possible. If you think I’m going to wait while you drag this through the courts – delaying, amending, correcting and filing for a couple of years and then hoping that I’ll forget about it then you are grossly mistaken.

(On a side note, I hadn’t planned on pursuing my bank charges from the last 5 years – but after this insulting example of mistreatment you can be damned sure that I’m going to do my best to get every penny you ever took back).

I shall end this letter with a plea. I want the three people who will receive it to look at the following paragraph very, very carefully and drag up as many memories of what it is like to be poor and pissed off as possible. I want you to forget that I am just another number, just another ranting annoyed customer and instead look into your hearts and empathise with what it is like to be trying so hard to make your way through life and be countered at every turn by a giant, unfeeling company.

LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!

I expect a response to this letter – either written or by a phone call – within the next ten days. Do not send another dismissive, meaningless reply full of empty promises and legal excuses. Instead, please try to actually deal with the issue before you and try, just try, to satisfy my complaint. It would be a first.

Yours with thanks

David Holloway

Ernest Goes Online

2007-08-04T22:55:00.000Z

Been very absent from this blog recently. There's no great reason for it other than I have a new house with a girlfriend inside and plenty of work to be getting on with. Simple pleasures.

I do plan to come back here very soon indeed, I just need to learn to manouever my time better and be of a clearer head. Until then I'd like to share with you this collection of 'Ernest' DVD covers that officially constitutes the most pointless thing I have ever downloaded.

God bless the internet, and no place else.

There is No Smoking Whilst Reading This Blog

2007-07-11T21:08:00.000Z

Smoking ban. Fair enough. I have no problem with that.

No smoking signs in places that were formally smoking places. I have no problem with that.

No smoking signs in places where people wouldn't consider smoking anyway. Slight overkill.

I mean, what gleefully gloating asshole goes around putting up signs in greengrocers and doctors surgerys informing the world that they can't smoke in there? No shit, Sherlock. Smokers may be stubborn creatures but they understand the do's and don'ts of their habit... everyone knows you don't smoke in a creche, but the cackling moral majority have still felt obliged to put warning signs up in every potential place; common sense be damned!

I imagine armies of concerned (read: bored) mothers doing the happy dance through town, liberally slapping up signs on every building and flicking V's at anybody who looks like they might have once smoked. "Can't smoke here, or here, or here, or here... ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!"

Like I say, I have no problem with the smoking ban - I think it's a good idea - but any impression that it is an understanding reached between the smoking and no smoking factions of modern society has been ruined by the fascistic enforcement of the ban. And this being England, the only way we know how to fascisticly enforce rules is by stickers. Lots and lots of stickers.

These people take the fun out of everything.

Photos

2007-07-03T19:00:00.000Z

There's 3 new photosets on my photoblog Day of the Dave. Glastonbury, Hull and the sheltered view of the Sheffield rains.

Still haven't got an internet connection at home, but it's coming. BBQ at mine this Sat? Excellent.

Animal

2007-06-24T16:21:00.000Z

I'm writing this from backstage at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers gig in Holland. And how was your day? A girl just walked the van in the most see-through top I've ever seen on someone in public. The air is thick with the smell of a well oiled machine, and weed. Behind me a white rapper is berating the crowd for playing football and not basketball. I think they're throwing sandwiches at him.

Earlier someone from the crowd stopped me and asked why I was wearing sunglasses when it was raining. I showed him my eyes. "I understand" he said and patted me on the back.

So I've been busy, quit bugging me. It's been a hectic few months... moved house again, making the big step into cohabitation with Isobel. It's bigger and better than I ever imagined it could be. To think I was worried and stressed about the decision, how foolish I was. All the time I was driving to Holland I was thinking why am I driving away from her?

I am now worried that I'm getting soppy. I'm also worried that my previous statements about the nature of relationships will come back to haunt me. I was wrong. There. I said it. Happy now?

So what's a great thing you can do whilst in the middle of moving house - an activity behind only divorce in the list of most stressful things to undertake. How about go on tour? I've done two tours since 65 last month - one with Brett Dennen and this current jaunt with Dirty Pretty Things - and I'm beginning to tire of it. It's a good way to earn some extra money, but damn does it take alot out of you... I mean, it's much more fun when you're an artists, but as a driver you just feel tired and put upon much of the time. Which is a shame as that's your job.

Yesterday we were mud soaked in Glastonbury. Since I was driving overnight to Holland I tried to get some shut-eye in the back of the van, which was attentively parked directly behind the Pyramid Stage. Did you watch Lily Allen? I was asleep pretty much right behind her... and when I woke the clothes horse herself was stood right by my window. I stuck my tongue out and although the glass was tainted, I thought she saw me.

I'm too old for this shit. I mean, I still love touring, and festivals and gigs, but I need to have hospitality now, and nice toilets, and a good bed at the end. I don't mind camping, but it needs to be a quiet field. I can't be doing with mud and shouting and no sleep anymore. Let this be a lesson, it happens to us all.

It's my birthday in September. I keep saying "I feel so thirty." Maybe that's got something to do with it.

Holy shit. 65daysofstatic are supporting the Cure in America. They're playing the Hollywood Bowl, and Madison Square Gardens. Fucking Madison Square Gardens. It's become very easy to be blase about their success now, as most things that are happening now are a natural progression and expected for a band in their position. But the fucking Cure? In the Hollywood Bowl? I don't think I could be more proud of them.

"Whose cock do I have to suck to get on that tour?"

Joe called me on Thursday and he told me about it. "It's a secret" he said "until it appears on the Cure website I won't believe it." So much for sneaky insider information, the next day I had several phone calls and texts telling me about it. And here was something I thought I could smugly mention in a few months time when it came out - "Oh that? Yeah, I've known about that for ages..."

This is a list of things I've learnt recently.
- There are no seasons anymore. Just weather.
- Americans actually have a highly developed understanding of sarcasm.
- British roads are staggering overcrowded.
- Saxondale is a dead on take of most roadies.
- Gary from Dirty Pretty Things is a lovely guy.
- Receiving a laminate that says 'Red Hot Chilli Peppers World Tour 2007 - Dave' can make a guy pretty happy.

Life's actually pretty good at the moment. I'm finally earning a liveable wage off Medlo, I have an awesome new house that I share with my best girl, work is plentiful and the result of our own efforts and I have a sideline that takes me to all manner of strange places across the world.

Told you I was feeling thirty.

Last week I had a great joke idea for a TV show - I wrote it down and sent it to two people, thinking they'd find it hilarious. No replies came for a few days, and then suddenly both got back to me. "Love it", they said, "we should do it." Hey. That's the Medlo way.

I've just finished reading Joe Eszterhas' autobiography 'Hollywood Animal.' It's amazing. This is my favourite line: "(there were times) when we didn't want our boys trick or treating at Kenny G's or Gary Busey's house."

Loved it.

Think I'm going to go and get another one of those salmon kebabs that they have in the hospitality tent. It's a hard life. See you back in the real one.

Liverpool Lord Nelson Hotel

2007-05-29T23:18:00.000Z

Whilst on the 65dos tour Dave Wolinksi and I took to making short tourlogs that documented the day, we aimed to make one for each show and I think we achieved 14 in the end - which is pretty impressive. We set up a YouTube Director Channel and uploaded them whenever we could find an internet connection, and we've had about 4000 or so views so far. I left the tour last week, but Dave carried on with them into Europe and is still making videos as fast as he can.

You can see the 65crew movies here.

A few days ago he uploaded this brief tour of one of the venues they played at, so I have replied in kind with my own.

Classy.

The Distant and Mechanised Glow of a Van on Fire

2007-05-28T18:31:00.000Z

There we are... happily tootling along the M6 and suddenly there's this burning smell and the van speedily fills up with an acidic white smoke. We pull over and choke for 5 minutes. The power adaptors are burnt, and the wires are melted.

That'll teach the merch guy to rewire the Playstation.

It's exciting on the road.

Hello...? Is anybody still there?

2007-05-27T18:38:00.000Z

So. Been a bit absent for the last month or so. Yessiree, a little absent. Leaving your blog unwritten is sort of like correcting an untruth, the more time passes the more you are happy to let it be and not make the changes neccessary... In fact, I have to admit, that I'm personally putting myself under duress to sit here and write, lest I never return again. It's not like I've grown tired of blogging - far from it - I've just grown a little tired of writing about my own misadventures. I've been doing some reviews for Watch With Mothers which I've really enjoyed doing much more.

But anyway, I've also been a bit busy and distracted which is another reason why there has been no updates around here. I toddled off on tour with 65daysofstatic at the start of the month, came home for a few days and now I'm back out on the road driving for Brett Dennen, the support act for Rodriguo y Gabriella. The 65dos tour was great, although not as action packed and exciting as perhaps I was hoping for - the boys have been on the road for a very long time, and will be for a very long time more, and some of the novelty has now passed on. It was still good to be out there though, doing visuals every night and feeling vaguely like an artist for the first time in a long time. We went over to Ireland at the start of the tour which was really nice - I sure like that country and we met some lovely people, and I think I may have left a little bit of my heart in Galway which was, like, just gorgeous.

I've just realised that the days touring schedule states that the Finnish are arriving at 10.20. That is meant to mean we finish at 10.20... but I think I prefer the idea of nordic vistors. Oh, and Daily Motion have featured 65daysofstatic Don't Go Down to Sorrow on their front page so go over and have a look...

Scraps from a Wasted Mind

2007-05-01T23:23:00.000Z

Two things.

A couple of days ago I received an email from my Dad, the majority of the text read like this:

"I am getting increasing hassle about my forthcoming birthday which is beginning to p*** me off somewhat.

The two most frequent questions are:
What are you doing?
What do you want?

The asnwer to both is a resounding and very serious NOTHING

I have no interest in celebrating this birthday - it's just another day and I'm not being persuaded to do anything special - it's nothing momentous and with a bit of luck I won't even be in the country.

So, rant over, PLEASE do not do anything or get me anything - other than a luxury yacht and a mediterranean villa I don't want or need anything and I'm not celebrating."

I hope this goes someway in explaining to the people I know why I am the way I am. Parents, they fuck you up for life.

Secondly, this was my to-do list this morning:

"Cancel house viewing
Do proper ceiling bracket test and find big hook from scaffolding place
write letter to tax people
email and guest list?
tims survey thing
finish european dance parties
speak to warp about atp
arrange aston shoot
email Dad
chase up undegroove invoice
Pay rent
BUy box for bracket
buy bag for camera
Call Baart
Make intro rumble
collect Litte Victories
money from hux
Go on Tour"

I hope this goes someway to explaining to the people I know why I've been the way I have recently. Nothing personal, just busy.

Off on a 3-week UK tour with 65dos in about 5 hours. I'll hopefully write more from the road.
Peace.
Dave

Humbug

2007-04-21T00:41:00.000Z

Interesting Penn and Teller episode of Bullshit on language, swearing and the history of profanity.

Found at www.pistolwimp.com

Strongbow

2007-04-18T02:01:00.000Z

Also published on Watch With Mothers. Or it will be soon.

Adverts are a really easy target. They have a limited time to deliver a very specific message and that must be prioritised ahead of normal storytelling logic; you don't need to know why the Englishman is involved in the mass exodus of a city during a Latin America Revolution, you just need to know that wearing Lynx makes him calm doing it, and it impresses the shit out of really hot women who are also inexplicably caught up in said revolution.

It's a form of social contract between the advertising industry and the audience. The audience accept that the adverts will not stand up to scrutiny and therefore do not ask for greater detail than they are given. In return the advertising industry get to rape all that is good and holy in the world, and are allowed to systematically destroy societal values, culture, language and laws until the population bow down before the almight God of consumerism.

Anyway. Their simple nature gives them a form of exclusion from too much dissection. A man could go mad trying to chart and satirically write about all the logic flaws contained in adverts, and who really cares? Blot on the landscape of life they may be, and sociological fascination most definately, but the simple narrative is too insignificant to spend too much time worrying about.

The internal world that TV adverts exist in are very fragile. Mostly we'll accept the fictional version of reality as they present it, but if they step outside that carefully constructed world the whole thing falls apart. It with this in mind that I'd like to discuss the new Strongbow advert - the first from their new "aaaaaah, first pint" campaign - and one specific section of it.

First off, it's quite a good advert. The idea is clear and concise, the target demographic well catered to and the presentation slick yet charming. The basic concept is a good one - we've all experienced that lovely first hit of a cold pint on a summers day, and they are saying that by drinking Strongbow you can prolong and heighten that sensation. The man in the advert goes into some kind of orgasmic trance when tasting the stuff, but that's a good enough representation of the idea.

Or is it? I have issue with the background action of this advert, and I believe it's broken its contract with the audience and has failed to stay within the confines of its set universe. The first question to ask is how long does this take place over? Judging by the amount drank by the two lager fans I could estimate no more than ten minutes, which I think is a fair time to consume a quarter of a pint. Ten minutes is statistically a long enough time to run into a charity collector in a pub. It's low odds, but it could happen so I have no problem with that indicator of the passing of time - what worries me is the football match.

There is no football match playing when they enter the bar, nor is there one playing when the main character comes out of his alcohol induced coma. This can mean one of two things - that either a flash mob of sophisticated football fans overran the place for ten minutes before beating a hasty retreat, at the exact same time as our man first sipped his Strongbow (statistically very unlikely) or he was engaged in a buddhist experience of the liver for well over two hours.

This would mean not only did he miss a good portion of his evening out, but also that he didn't see the football and his two friends will be a good three pints in by now and probably quite pissed. What is the message that Strongbow are trying to send out? That their drink is so fucking good you will become paralysed for several hours and totally incommunicable to the outside world? Maybe their grand plan is to create a nation of zombified alcoholics, pubs across the land will be filled with exhaling Strongbow drinkers, grinning like petrified corpses and making noises like the recreated humans in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Of course that's not the case; the football match was just used as a visual indication of the passing of time - but this is what I mean by a poor narrative within adverts. The advert has failed to make me want to buy the product as every time I see it I think " Christ! Poor bastard, how long was he there for?"

Of course it could be argued that since I'm talking about it the advert has succeeded in raising the profile of the product. Then again, the fact that it tastes like sugar fermented in pomane and mixed with piss also guarantees that I'll never drink the stuff, no matter how good, or how crap, their adverts are.

Быстрая Поездка в Москву

2007-04-14T23:22:00.000Z

It doesn't seem really real, going to Moscow. I know I was there, I have photos to prove it as well as a CCCP Zippo, but the whole trip feels like it happened to somebody else with their memories filtered through me. It may have been the furious week of work that preceeded it, or the immediate return to reality that followed it, or even the fact that we were there for only two nights...

Moscow was great. The city fulfilled pretty much every expectation I had, and kinda upheld most of my preconceptions too. It had a bleak appeal, charming but outdated and stunning yet depressing. There was an amount of old dusted over everything that reminded you, paradoxically, that the country had not yet reached a quarter of a century. Many Eastern European cliches were abound - the Ladas, the industrial weather, the stern expressions - but the city had true character, and a sense of achievement and satisfaction about it.

Max, our permanently wasted, emotionally broody, sexually satisfied promoter was a great host, and the gig was terrific - despite the fact that I hadn't played with 65days for 4 months, and it showed. I did have the great pleasure of telling two Jack Daniels girls - all leggy and in cowboy hats - to fuck off as they were in my way, which was extremely satisfying.

After the gig, though, was one of the more surreal moments of my life. We hopped into three street taxis - unwarrantied Ladas driven by men with moustaches - and were spirited away to an industrial estate somewhere near the set for Hostel. About 2am we were standing in a deserted street watching the packs of wild dogs and waiting for the third taxi containing Max to arrive. Moments later we were led through a steel gate, up some concrete stairs and down a Twin Peaks Black Lodge corridor into a wasteland room with a bar, neon lights and more passed out Russians than conscious ones. A few industrial strength vodkas and bubblegum pop tunes later and we left... as we stumbled through the hallway a group of Russians yelled "bollocks" and Spider wrote "Release the Kracken" on the wall... outside John rode a small tricycle and Joe found a 1970's Cuban hat... the doors on the taxi would only open one side and the gin in the hotel bar tasted like Tequila... we fell asleep at dawn and when we woke it was snowing.

There's a legitimacy to being nonchalant when you're in a country for a purpose other than a holiday. Seeing the sites, staying up all night and being social are not the point of the trip - so you can afford to be dismissive and not feel obliged to do whatever you're meant to do. Paul remarked to me that he found it hilarious that we could all be in Red Square, could stand outside St Basils cathederal and then casually decide to go for a coffee... travelling with a band have made us all a little blase about visiting countries, the enormity of the locations you find yourself has diminished and even the thought of "how the hell did I end up here" begins to fade.

In saying that, Moscow is the first country I've visted with them this year. So far they have managed Ireland, the US, Japan, Germany, Holland and Belgium. Quite how they're coping I have no idea.

They asked if I wanted to come along next week and sell t-shirts for a week in Europe. Very few things seem more appealing than touring Europe for a week with a rock band right now, but there's visuals to be made, work to be attended and money to be earned.

And how are you?

More photos from Moscow at Day of the Dave.

Aaron Stout - Spacestation

2007-04-11T22:55:00.000Z

Released by Monotreme Records
Illustrated by Phlegm Comics
Produced by Medlo
Directed by Tza Parmee and Dan Phlegm

Where to be, what to did

2007-04-01T23:15:00.000Z

(click)

Whaddup. How've you been man?

(static)

Yeah, all good thanks. It's been a hectic few weeks, though. How's about you?

(static)

Well I headed to London for a few days, saw a whole bunch of people and talked alot of work. Went to see Radioactive Man and bumped into Andy Digitonal, hooked up with him the next day and went looking at cameras.

(static)

Nah, I don't have a pin number for the business account so I couldn't buy it.

(static)

Well, we talked about doing a few projects - another rescore perhaps and maybe a music video, plus a super sweet but super secret idea of Andy's for next years Big Chill, which was very cool.

(static)

No, I'm not telling.

(static)

I went to the cast and crew screening of Sunshine on the Sunday with Dza and Nicky, Andy came too and we saw Violet, Gia and loads of people I didn't recognise but Dza insisted on hugging.

(static)

Yeah, it's really good. I totally enjoyed it. Have you seen the trailer?

(static)

(static)

The next weekend I went to Cromer in Norfolk with Isobel - shit, that reminds me that I totally forgot to call her - and had a lovely weekend away at her parents cottage. Lots of roaring fires, walks on the beach and kisses, it was awesome. Really good to actually relax the ol' shoulders for a while and sleep on a real mattress at a proper time. There's some photos on my photoblog if you haven't seen 'em... Day of the Dave.

(static)

Um, about a year and a half now... it's brilliant.

(static)

Yeah, I'm still cramming the hours at the Showroom as well, which is really starting to suck. I've just been there too long and I'm starting to hate the place, which doesn't make me a great person to work with. I'm off on tour in May and I'm taking the month off and am hoping to just not come back. We'll see...

(static)

If I can afford it, definately. It's all about making sure I can bring enough money in for Medlo so that I can get paid... I have a few plans, it's all a matter of time...

(static)

Well this weekend I've been doing some promo stuff for Sunshine which has been a load of fun - nice to be able to dedicate four whole days to one project actually, instead of juggling about six simultaneously. I'm going to Moscow on Thursday with 65 and we'll be performing seven new tracks, which means Hux and I have got a hell of alot of work to do before then.

(static)

Yup. Moscow. I'm unbelievably excited. It's a Jack Daniels sponsored festival.

(static)

Heh. Nice knowing you too..

(static)

Cool, ok mate. I'll talk to you later. Better get back to the visuals...

(static)

Peace.

(click)

65daysofstatic - Don't Go Down to Sorrow

2007-03-14T15:54:00.000Z

The Jeremy Irons Story

2007-03-13T23:56:00.000Z

I like telling stories. I like telling my own stories. It's kind of my downfall and the prime reason people become irritated with me. I have a habit to intone Yoda style the metaphorical wisdom learned from my own personal experiences at the most inappropriate times. Luckily, most people are far too polite to interrupt or inform me they've "already heard this one" so I usually get to finish with a few seconds of smug satisfaction before the crippling fear of self-obsession and indulgent monologues strikes.

I always planned to write down all my stories, put them in a book and hand them to my friends so that the next time I felt compelled to wax lyrical I could simply tell people to check a chapter at their leisure and not have to bore all those within earshot.

The Jeremy Irons story is my favourite or all my stories, however I have fallen into a near-perfect pitter-patter recollection of it and the whole thing is becoming very tedious. Thus I shall recant the tale one more time before retiring it to the bin marked "not to be touched until the grandkids are old enough to know what speed is" and replace the top slot with the story of me, two strippers and a videocamera in a dressing room. It's not nearly as dirty as it sounds, but it will still have to wait for another time.

Before I tell this sad tale of woe and celebrity embarressment, though, I should issue a warning to all those who may be related to me, or those foolish enough to hold me in any high regard. This is a story of misspent employment, foolish alcohol consumption and illegal activities. If you would prefer to know me as that nice boy you raised from birth, or that charming young man who is currently dating your daughter, you may wish to scroll down to the previous post which is all about International Womens Day and paints me in a far better light.

----------------------------------------------------

The Jeremy Irons Story

Way back in 2001 I was working as a runner on a small independant film called Dream which starred Kelly Harrison, Sinead Cusack and Matthew from Eastenders. We worked 11 day fortnights, which means we had the weekend off, then Saturday off, then the weekend etc. Towards the end of the shoot, on one of the intermitent weekends, I was very stressed and tired and needed to seriously unwine. Since I had the luxury of two days off I went to the pub, drank my bodyweight in booze and went and partied my way across town. I would love to tell you where I went and what I did but I have no recollection further than that. It was that good a night.

Anyway. Two days off so plenty of time to recover, right? Wrong. I got a phone call from the Production Manager the next morning saying she needed me for an urgent task. Could I drive down to Sinead Cusacks house in Cornwall (which is about 350 miles away) and pick up some childhood photos of her to be used as set dressing? Her husband would have everything ready but I had to leave now and could I take the Renault Espace as my normal location car was in use. Thanks.

I stalled a couple of hours or so, made sure I was ok to drive - drank the usually hated coffee and forced food down down my throat - but I was still out the door by midday. Driving may have been a mistake, I was really tired and the drive down to Cornwall had to be punctuated with frequent stops and a never-ending supply of luxury service station water. I vibrated, I hung my head out the window like a beagle and I played punk-rock really fucking loud and somehow I arrived at my destination.

All this time, though, I had one thought on my mind. Who is Sinead Cusack married to? I knew it was someone famous, but in my sleep deprived, booze addled brain I couldn't remember who. Obviously this is called The Jeremy Irons Story, therefore she is married to Jeremy Irons, but I didn't realise this until his super-silky tones emitted from the gate speaker and he buzzed me into his house.

On opening the garden gate to this modest faux-rustic farmhouse it all hit me. Everything. The late night, the drinking, the 3 months of 16 hour working days, the stress, the drive, the starch in my stomach and the shock of knowing I was about to meet Hans Grubers brother.* I think I was probably also reeling from the realisation that in coming down here I had done something incredibly stupid... and all of a sudden I was really really thirsty.

Jeremy Irons welcomed me into his house, generously gave me several pints of water and didn't seem fazed when I gulped them down in quick succession. We sat for several awkward minutes and made small talk; how the film was going, Sinead, the weather, the drive etc. It was around the point of the 30 second silence that I realised I was shaking horribly and Jeremy Irons was staring at me with a mixture of fear, horror and bemusement.

No doubt wondering what kind of man he had let into his house, let alone who he was entrusting with his wifes precious memories, he made his excuses and went to get the photos. Immediately I dashed to the sink and splashed water on my face, and it was this dripping, vibrating mess that Jeremy Irons faced a few seconds later when he returned. Mumbling something about being very hot, I offered my trembling hand to take the photos and as he passed them, for a split second, I saw a look of contempt flicker across his face.

Not wanting to piss him off further - I've seen Reversal of Fortune, I know what this man is capable of - I practically fled the kitchen and into the fresh air. Jeremy Irons followed me half way down the path and the last thing I heard was his clipped instructions to close the gate behind me. I pulled it shut without looking back and hightailed it to the nearest cafe for a mainline of sugar.

A hearty sandwiche, can of coke and half hour of sunshine set me right and I felt fantastic. With a smile on my face and a song in my heart I headed back to Sheffield, stopping only once to phone my friend Matt and tell him what had happened.

I haven't met Jeremy Irons since, and for that I'm blessed. Drinking is bad for you kids, it makes you do stupid things infront of RSC actors and no-one should ever sink that low.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is the end of The Jeremy Irons Story. I thank you.

*Note to readers. In 2001 Jeremy Irons was still a moderately respectable actor. Dungeons and Dragons had been shot but not released and we were years away from the Time Machine, Eragon and Kingdom of Heaven. I think I'd recently seen him in Lolita, which is an excellent movie.

Different Strokes

2007-03-13T14:19:00.000Z

Recently I have become figuratively addicted to a couple of blogs - both written by women, both offering totally different viewpoints about life on this planet of ours, and both serving as pertinent reminders of the variety of life experience.

The first is the much heralded An Arab Woman Blues which is a remarkably well written and personal insight into a "Middle Easterner ,an Arab Woman - into my 40's and old enough to know better." It is such a passionate blog, every entry drips with emotion and rage and the text is intelligent and informed. While news reports on the Middle East simply fill me with guilt and anger, this blog challenges every preconception about what I thought I knew and gives a genuine, heartfelt and terrifying insight into life in the Western occupied Iraq.

To contrast that I have also been reading News From Chilli which is the blog of retired lady living in Chillicothe, Texas. She updates every day, writing in minute detail about the trivial and important day to day affairs of her life. While it barely moves away from a well-written list of activities, it does give us a snapshot of her character and what life must be like being a middle-class, elderly American.

What separates News From Chilli from An Arab Woman Blues is the absence of opinion. An Arab Woman speaks her mind about politics, about equality, about imperialism and the invasion with striking clarity and an outraged stance, News From Chilli is happy to talk about her husbands fishing trips, her poker games and the haircuts of her dogs ("the girls"). Together they demonstrate the incomprehensibly different experiences of women, and indeed people, in this world. They also represent the fundamental relationship between the West and Middle East... the exploiter is indifferent, unaware and complacent while the exploited is angry, informed and indignant.

Friday was International Womens Day, and so to note this I'd like to compare a short excerpt from each of their blogs on this day.

An Arab Woman Blues
"I declare today "International women's week of Independence... from men."
And I invite you to experience it first hand the Iraqi way, the way it is applied in the "new Iraq."
By the way, any similarities to other countries are purely coincidental.

And since, by the authority bestowed upon me, I am the natural representative of God on earth, I will not only control your body and the way you dress ...
Did you not hear what I just said ? Cover this strand of hair now! Loose man that you are! Why do you insist on behaving like a slut? Have you no shame? Or are you just after your vain, earthly desires?...
That is it, be good so I can always approve of you and be pleased with you...
Sit straight when am talking to you and uncross your legs and keep them tightly closed... and don't interrupt...

As I was saying, since I am God's representative on earth, I also decree that you no longer have any political, legal or economic rights...Yes you heard me right.
What do you need them for? Everything you need is provided for, you are a father, you have your children ... and your natural place...

News From Chilli
"This morning, Jim and I took off for the new Bass Pro Shop in Olathe - at the intersection of I-35 and 199th street. He also drove me around the relatively new shopping center on the other side of this intersection. We made a quick stop at the Half Price Book store, but struck out on what we were looking for.

I took a book to read with me to the Bass Pro and ended up spending about an hour reading in a very comfortable rocking chair - in front of a fireplace. I did look around the store a little, but the rocker kept looking more and more enticing. Afterwards we headed east on 119th until we reached Metcalf and then south to 135th - and then to WilJenny's for lunch. The place was packed today with most of the business in the bar area as the KU game was on tv. Jim had a shaved, prime rib sandwich with beef broth for dipping - it was divine! I had the usual Louis Mueller - brisket with all kinds of extra hot things on it - hopefully I won't pay too dear of a price tonight, but seem to be doing okay now. We were back in Chillicothe about 3:00.

I had good intentions of not napping, but after having trouble staying awake coming home, the girls and I went down for a two hour nap. The Texas/Baylor basketball game begins at 8:20 - so I know I'll be up late tonight."

The internet is great, it connects you with millions of people and helps you learn about their lives - it can give you ideas, knowledge and insight into experiences you had never even considered before. It does make me feel awfully insgnificant sometimes, though.

Jesus Camp

2007-03-11T02:10:00.000Z

This.
Is an incredible film.

I don't care how you see it; download it, rent it, buy it
- just make sure you see it. And then have the most amazing inner-dialogue with yourself about every subject raised...

It's a documentary focusing on an Evangelical summer camp in North Dakota that trains children to be Christian soldiers as part of Gods army. Here children as young as 6 are taught the lies of evolution, the evil of abortion and the reverence of our lord George W. Bush. As far as the morality of it all goes, I can only splutter with indignation and struggle to find the words to even begin to describe the injustices being dealt upon these children. As a piece of filmmaking, I can say it's an exceptional piece of work.

The movie focuses entirely on the summer camp and its Pastor Becky Fischer. The only voice of dissidence is a Christian talk radio host who argues that Evangicalism has gone too far in Christs name. There is very little misrepresentation in terms of filmmaking - or as far as I noticed - and the staff and children are given ample chance to explain themselves. Opinions are left to the audience to decide, however since the material is so remarkable in terms of displaying and explaining fundamentalism it's very hard to look upon the subjects favourably. Their rational is clear and concise, but their argument dictates that they hang themselves with their own rope. Which they do. Frequently.

What I found most remarkable was the humanising of the subjects; despite that these children are effectively brainwashed, terrified and forced into a belief of Christ, their eloquence, intelligence and dedication is remarkable. Were it not for an indoctrinated faith and coherced alligance they would be exceptional children - smart, mannered, educated, opinionated - but the fevered rocking and speaking in tongues is enough to make you fear for their adullthood.

Not to make grand statements about religion or anything, but those interested in state control and cult movements should take a look. Not all fascism looks like Hitler, and this is a terrific, front row view into the makings of an indocrinated youth. Their dedication and feverent belief makes you wish their efforts were more positively placed than banning abortions and the creation of a Christian state. The movie is frequently hilarious, and frequently terrifying, when the Pastors explain their methods for ensnaring the young minds - there's nothing like the blood font to explain sin, and you can't beat a 2 inch plastic foetus strapped to a 6-year olds wrist to drive the abortion point home.

This movie makes it harder to laugh at those religious nutballs out there, it puts a face to those silly fools who claim dinosaurs are mentioned in the Bible and it gives a legitimacy to a movement that demands ignorance and blind-faith over anything else. It's also a fascinating sociological document, and a very well made movie.

Official Website
IMDB
Wikipedia

Adam Curtis' new series The Trap starts on Sunday night, 9pm, BBC 2 - don't forget to watch it. I'll be at work. Bollocks.

Catflap

2007-03-06T21:50:00.000Z

Just spent the last hour and a half trying to coax the cats through their new catflap. Hobbes is happy to use it so long as someone else pushes it for him. Mooch is terrified of the door now it's changed and is refusing to come out from under the bed.

Them some weird-assed cats we be raising.

Hopes for the Future

2007-03-05T00:17:00.000Z

I don't have many ambitions in life, but I have always wanted to have a severed head in my fridge. Not for long, really - just long enough that I can have a friend over, offer to grab them a beer, open the fridge and take the two cold ones that are next to the severed head wrapped in plastic. Maybe I could offer a weak in-joke by throwing the beer to them and saying "heads up."

As you get older you begin to realise that not all your dreams are achievable, and that some must fall by the wayside. More practical ambitions offer a better chance at success... this is why last year I finally gave up on my long-standing wish to snort coke of the breasts of a dead Hollywood hooker.

I think I'll keep the severed head fantasy a little while longer, I'm not quite ready to give that one up yet.

Shutdown Day 2007

2007-03-01T13:37:00.000Z

Can You Go One Day Without Using a Computer?

Shutdown Day 2007

What a shite initiative.

Movie News

2007-02-23T11:44:00.000Z

Gossip is gossip is gossip when it comes to Hollywood news, but this little snippet caught my eye this morning which looks like it could be quite exciting. Preacher is an outstanding comic book series written by Garth Ennis and illustrated by Steve Dillon, it's possibly my favourite ever comic-book series, and a movie version has been threatened for a long time.

The problem is that it's far too complex, far too fucked up and far too offensive to ever truly capture on screen - it features a corrupt god, an obese Allfather, a retarded messiah, sex investigators, vampires, beastiality, a suicide-deformed teenager (see below), gay angels, the Saint of Killers, a villain with a penis-shaped head and a cameo by Bill Hicks, to name but a few elements. And that's not mentioning the enormous and very bloody body count. Like I said, favourite ever comic book. For a while it looked like Tank Girl/Freddy's Dead director Rachel Talahay was going to make it, which was a bad move, and would star serial borefucker James Marsden. This was a very bad move.

Turns out, though, that HBO are on the cusp of making a mini-series out of it, using each issue as an episode. This is a very good idea, the only way you could come close to capturing the detail and subtext of Preacher is to follow the story very closely. The bad news is that Mark Steven Johnson - the piss-poor director behind Daredevil and Ghost Rider - is the man handling it. Yhen again, right now he's making all the right sounds:

"JOHNSON: I'm just trying to finish the pilot for Preacher at the moment. It's for HBO. It's VERY faithful to the comic, nearly exact. I think if it went, it would be one of the most amazing shows ever on television."

"I gave [HBO] the comics, and I said, 'Every issue is an hour. And it's exactly the book. ... I had my meeting yesterday, and Garth Ennis is on the phone, and we're all in the room, and Garth is like, 'You don't have to be so beholden to the comic.' And I'm like, 'No, no, no. It's got to be like the comic.' So that's what's so brilliant about it. It's just like, HBO, who else would do it but them? Nobody. ... HBO is just like, 'Bring it on.'"

Should I get excited? HBO make the best TV in the world, and if they're prepared to do justice to the comic by staying faithful, it could almost work. I dare not hope.

All the gotta do is cast it right now; Johnny Depp, Robert Carlyle, Cameron Diaz, Clint Eastwood, Patrick Stewart or nothing, thank you.

Mood swings

2007-02-22T12:44:00.000Z

Three days ago I was stressed and irrational.
Two days ago I was maudlin and contemplative.
Yesterday I was angry and pissed off.
Today I'm optimistic and cheerful.

I think I might be pregnant.

Down and Out in France and Sheffield

2007-02-12T22:35:00.000Z

Peace.

Been a long(ish) time, how've you been? I'm behind on everything. Bills, work, emails, money, updates, technology. Time. It's been a busy year so far. I am sat here, tired and longing for bed, but unable to hit the sack until it gets a little later. There's so much more I could be doing, but I'm choosing to catch spend my time watching episodes of Reno 911. I should have gone down to Isobels instead of updating this here blog. I'm a fool.

So we shot the new 65daysofstatic video yesterday. "Don't Go Down to Sorrow" took 10 hours to shoot in a very cold basement venue somewhere in deepest Sheffield. Save a bassist strucken with severe food poisoning who had to go home early, it all went very well. We put out the Mirimar Disaster video earier this month and completion on our Phlegm Comics collaboration 'Space Station' by Aaron Stout is due anyday, thus I've been spending quite alot of time producing and very little time actually making anything. It was really good to get to direct something again, even if it was just a case of saying yes to some questions, no to some others and watching a small monitor incessantly. Secretly, I think that's all there is to directing anyway.

All I have to do now is find a camera to transfer the footage, edit it and get it duplicated and down to the promotions company by 23rd February. Easy. Did I mention the work shifts, family birthdays, leaving parties, gigs and meetings I've also got lined up? Plus we have a secret staff only screening of Hot Fuzz on Thursday night... how can one man cope?

I did have a holiday, mind you. A skiing holiday at that, so I guess I can't complain too much. It's not like I'm overly stressed - work is really fun at the moment - it's just that there's a hell of a lot of things to get done at the same time, and it never appears to let up. I'd like to breathe a little more, but I guess you can breathe when you're dead.

Here's the Mirimar Disaster video. Produced by Medlo and directed by Paul Huxley.

Busy Bee

2007-02-09T01:40:00.000Z

Hello

10% of my brain here. The other 90% has been distracted recently by such common burdens as work, money and life in general and has been negligent towards its blog responsibilities. Since there appears to be currently no way to gain the 90% attention, I thought I'd just pop out and assure everybody that it's all going swimmingly and not to worry. Whilst I am largely considered to be the introspective percentage of my brain, I have found my mass greatly decreasing of late until it has reached this minimal 10% threshold. I am hope to gain a further majority in the coming weeks, but make no mistake - it will be a long and painful battle.

Just stay alive, I will find you.

65/5/2007

2007-02-07T18:13:00.000Z

Awesome TV

2007-01-16T01:30:00.000Z

I've said this before, and I look forward to saying it again; just when you think 24 can't possibly get anymore insane, it goes and defies your expectations again. For all it's po-faced seriousness, repetitive dialogue and exceptional plot holes it remains the finest thing on TV. Season 6, long may you reign.

I'm currently in the delighful throes of Reno 911, a take-off of Cops from Comedy Central. It's a really good show - largely improvised and painfully funny. It's introduced me to the comic talents of Kerri Kenney who plays two roles on the show and is without a doubt the funniest female comic I have seen in a very very long time. They have a movie coming out which looks a little "mah" but we'll see, the TV show is genius.

Call me a geek, call me whatever. The new Battlestar Galactica is has given sci-fi what it really needed; a bastard hard kick up the ass. I think it's best described in the words of the Peabody institute when they said: "It treats contemporary issues from an angle that really make you think about those issues…issues of race, gender, all those things are dealt with in that context... 'Battlestar' considers them in a dramatic narrative."

Damn right.

I also recently watched Crank which is, frankly, an absolutely brilliant action movie - it's ludicrious from start to finish and it knows it, which makes it all the more fun. Mike Judge's Idiocracy is a much maligned, badly treated flick which deserves recognition far beyond the release it was granted - it has some great ideas and moments of genius but the film has clearly suffered at the hands of the studios editors. Let's see... what else...? Last King of Scotland is excellent, so is Casino Royale and if you're in the mood for something gentle I can definately recommend Robert Altmans last film, A Praire Home Companion.

New Photos

2007-01-15T01:08:00.000Z

There's 3 (count 'em, 3) new photo sets over at my photo blog Day of the Dave. Feel free to swing by and have a look...

16 Years Ago...

2007-01-13T02:09:00.000Z

To this day, 12 January 1991, my mum died.

I was only 13 at the time and as a result, I have to confess, I don't have that many active memories of her. I mean I remember her and everything, but they're more flashes of moments, of sensations, or conversations than anything else. I don't have a full-fledged minds-eye image of her... and that was the thing I feared the most when she died, that I'd forget her. Now I'm older and have lived more years without her than with, I find that more comforting than anything else. I may not recall the sound of her voice or what she smelled like, but I do remember, very vivedly, what it was like to be with her.

I think I find that comforting because my precise memories are much more of how I was a dick to her, than of her being nice to me. My dominating memories are of how unsympathetically I reacted to hearing she had Leukemia, or of making her cry during the school holidays circa 1986, or how, critically, I chose to go swimming on the day she died, not go and see her in hospital.

I don't have guilt. I was a 13 year old boy going through a rough time and, overall, I handled it very well, but my memories naturally lean toward the negative. We had a great relationship - that much I which I am sure - and while I may have only a handful of moments that remind me of that, it's all I need.

In hindsight it's very easy to wish you had an adult mind throughout your childhood - those ex-girlfriends would be rationalised, those significant moments seized, those bullies put in their place - but the truth is you did't, and it is those experiences, good or bad that form you. When my mum died I became an adult very quickly. It established my healthy attitude towards death, it made me a stronger person and it, crucially, formed my character. I don't look upon her death as a terrible thing that happened to me anymore, I look at it as one of the many good and bad things that's happened to me during my life.

Normally I make a point of remembering this day, of taking a few minutes at 1.21pm to just sit down and raise a glass to her, but this year I forgot. It's not like I forgot forgot - I knew it was coming up, obviously - but this year it wasn't all prevailing, as it is normally. I didn't remember until late into this evenings shift. I don't feel too bad about that - it was a busy day and I was distracted - but I can't shake the inkling that forgetting this year is the start of another stage of forgetting... the kind where it slips into the back of your mind and it takes more and more to remember each time. I wouldn't like that.

This has been an unusually personal post for me. My apologies to those who found it to be cringingly embarrassing / too much information and / or a reminder of why heartfelt confessions really should be best kept in the head. I've found it quite cathartic, personally, and I never really understood the point of writing something if it wasn't going to be read. Warts n'all.

Save the Tinsley Towers video

2007-01-09T12:54:00.000Z

Crossover Advertising

2007-01-07T13:33:00.000Z

Next time you see that advert on TV with Ray Winstone (the one for Special K or Whole Wheat or Shredded Wheat or something) where he's talking about eating healthily and it being your choice, look in the background. As he picks up a newspaper there is a headline that says "Pommegranate is the New Blueberry" on an enormous Evening Standard posterboard.

Now look out for the new Burger King 'Angus Burger' advert and check to see which paper is delivering the all important headlines... why, it's the Evening Standard again.

Good to know that they can be relied on to deliver impartial news and not be influenced by advertising interests. Anyone spotted any more Evening Standard cameos?

Same but different

2006-12-28T01:13:00.000Z

I've posted this before, but I'd quite like to point it out again as I continue to find it bizarre. My blog address is http://www.dawnofthedave.blogspot.com yes?
Take out the S' of blogpsot and you get http://www.dawnofthedave.blogpot.com which is some kind of Jesus Loves You bible site... what kind of address is that for Christian worship?

Spammed

2006-12-26T13:27:00.000Z

Of all my posts it would seem that this one is the most popular among spammers. Not too sure why... maybe all spammers are big Low Lows fans, or perhaps they have a thing for beards... hell, it could even be that they do keyword searches for Prunella Scales before choosing which blogs to spam. It remains a mystery to me, but 10 spam comments on 1 post doesn't lie.

UPDATE: This is nothing compared to the 177 spam comments that I've just found on this 65dos post. Jeez. Those boys really are popular.

Media Lounge Top 30

2006-12-24T17:40:00.000Z

This being Christmas Eve, and a Sunday, it is the ideal time to unveil the Media Lounge Christmas Chart (as compiled by YouTube) and find our Xmas Number One for the year 2006.

The Top 30 rundown looks like this:

# 30: Sunshine: Science of the Sun (332 views)

# 29: Media Lounge at Dedbeat Festival (367 views)

# 28: Aqualibrium (369 views)

# 27: The Low Lows - Dear Flies love Spider (371 views)

# 26: Black Cloud (403 views)

# 25: Citizens for Fox News (418 views)

# 24: Plan B - No More Eatin' (Bennig Brooks remix) (432 views)

# 23: Sunshine: Spacesuit (670 views)

# 22: Plan B - No More Eatin' (Hadouken radio edit) (676 views)

# 21: Warren Zevon (And On) (694 views)

# 20: Katrina (1,152 views)

# 19: Straight Outta Compton (1,576 views)

# 18: Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (1,653 views)

# 17: Clarence Killer (1,773 views)

# 16: Sunshine: Danny Boyle Introduction (1,775 views)

# 15: Can't Get Kylie Out of Dawn Shadforths Head (1924 views)

# 14: Military Uniforms (2,159 views)

# 13: Jacks Beatnik Storytime (2,331 views)

# 12: Kylie: Portals Through Time (2,383 views)

# 11: 28 Hours Later (2,744 views)

# 10: Steven Seagal in Half Past Caring (2,840 views)

# 9: Daniel O'Donnell Goes Wrong (3,260 views)

# 8: I'm Dreaming of a White Noise Christmas (4,110 views)

# 7: Darths Ark (4,326 views)

# 6: Picard Sings (4,404 views)

# 5: Six Days (4,842 views)

# 4: Eeeeeeastenders (5,019 views)

# 3: 2 Stuart 2 Little (5,851 views)

# 2: Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (9,570 views)

# 1: Rachel Stevens' Foot Fetish (11,687 views)

I guess that just goes to show that you're guaranteed a hit if your title includes the name of a celebrity and an unusual sexual preference. Duely noted.

Two Things

2006-12-24T14:11:00.000Z

I have this really vivid memory from when I was about 4 or 5. It was 1982 and the occasion of Charles and Dianas wedding, and the whole street came out to have a street party. There were paste tables down the road, streamers strewn between the lamposts, balloons tied to every tree and food as far as the eye can see. I also remember that the colours of the time were much akin to the washed-out hues that you get in cinefilm from 25 years ago. Strange that.

Anyway. I was very young so there's a good chance that my memory is slightly distorted and, allowing for the child perspective inflation, there's also a good chance that it wasn't as exciting as I recall... but what I'm sure of was the atmosphere. The whole street had come out to celebrate, as was the style at the time, and I really felt like part of a community.

I think that's what's missing from Christmas these days... the sense that it's voluntary. There was no law that insisted we have a street party to celebrate a royal wedding, we just did because we wanted to. Nowadays Christmas feels so much like an obligation I find it very hard to believe that any sane adult over 20 would want to continue it. We're bashed so mercilessly over the head with 3 months of crimbo advertising and seasonal enforcement that when the day comes you just want it to be over with so we can go back to feeling normal again.

--------------

I got this email from my Dad the other day in reference to the trouble I was having buying my sister a present:

"Just a thought if you're stuck for a prezzie for Kerry.
Use Tesco cos they're cheapest. How about something for the kitchen as she likes cooking - perhaps a bottle or two of exotic cooking oils or a utensil or cool apron or summat like that?"

The next day I get a phone call from my sister asking me if I'd like some nice cooking oils, or perhaps a nice utensil for the kitchen as I'm "into cooking now."

Oh father, never let it be said you're not practical.

Cause for Concern

2006-12-20T13:35:00.000Z

Definition of out-of-date:
"Seeing an old photograph of yourself and realising you're wearing the exact same outfit as you are now."

I see by the writing on the wall that it's time for the bi-annual trip to TK Max.

Poppies for Sale

2006-12-12T12:20:00.000Z

Don't see this very often:

Sabbatical

2006-12-07T12:31:00.000Z

It's been almost two weeks since I last wrote anything here. I was getting a bit sick of the sound of my own typing... the clicks and the clacks began to have an echo of pompousness about them, mocking me and my self importance. Plus the sojourn in Japan had left me way more exhausted than I expected and threw my judgement off... I discovered meaning in everything and wanted to blog about the minute details. This, I decided was a bad idea. Finally I considered it an act of sacrifice to write nothing immediately after my readership increased threefold... what it was a sacrifice to I have no idea, but in my mind I think I imagined it to be the equivilent of doing a freeform jazz album after a rock and roll hit.

Told you I was tired.

So, we flew back from Tokyo on Friday morning on an inexplicably longer 12 and a half hour flight. Being the best part of 6'3" it's rare I fit anywhere anyway, but planes just aren't built for people of my size so I feel justified in saying I suffered for most of the journey. The taxi ride back up to Sheffield was nigh on impossible to survive concious and when we finally got home I blundered my way out the vehicle, muttered cursory goodbyes and had staggered down the street within 5 minutes.

Next day was Dza and Nicki's wedding down in High Wycombe. Dza is one of my business partners in Medlo and Nicki is his beautiful bride - an endlessly patient lady who has more than suffered for the efforts of the Media Lounge over the years. How Dza ever convinced her to marry him is beyond me... the wedding was just how weddings should be - sweet, short, and with drunk teenage celebrities running around. It was a highly stressful day for me, tiredness and jet-lag were at their most prominent and I found all the talking to people in a hot room to be very overwhelming. It didn't help that night when Is and I slept in the worlds smallest bed in the worlds smallest bed and breakfast...

Suffering from extreme fatigue by now, Tza drove us all back to Sheffield via a great Peaks pub called the Three Merry Lads. Here I hilariously bought Isobel a Sunday carvery despite the fact she is a vegetarian. Nice move.

And the so the week continued with a degree of unabashed tired until I found myself sleeping for 16 hours straight on Thursday. The thing is, I thought I was fine... I thought I'd escaped the return jet-lag and was doing just peachy, until Thursday happened. I awoke with just 30 minutes to go until I had to meet Isobel at the station and somehow, including a shower and sandwiche, I made it... we tootled off to Nottingham and watched Rodriguo e Gabriella at Rock City who were better than when I saw them at the Big Chill, and they were really good then.

And so the week turned into two and I still couldn't face writing on this very blog. We had a night at 65s to eat, drink and be merry and say goodbye as they are now holed up in Scotland recording that difficult third album. That very night was also the night of the work Xmas party which I avoided due to my being horribly drunk last year, and so got horribly drunk at 65s instead. Fate had it in for me and my liver that night. Was great to see Andy Digitonal again, even though we only had the briefest of brief chats, and I've learnt that we're off to Poland in May to perform the Shining - that was great news...

This is an old Media Lounge video we made to honour our fallen hero, Warren Zevon:

A few days ago we received an email through YouTube from Crystal Zevon, Warrens ex-wife, thanking us for the tribute. That's about the coolest damn thing that's ever happened to me...

So that's that. This blog is erring dangerously close to an all-purpose email so I'm going to keep an eye on that in the future. More obscure opinions, more hate-filled rants, less day-to-day bullshit... that's the way forward.

Oh, and cats. Mooch (the black one) now thinks he's a dog and loves nothing more than playing fetch with his favourite piece of screwed up foil and Hobbes (the ginger one) has entered a period of depression now that autumn has properly kicked in and he can't go outside as much.

Bless.

Sayonara Japan

2006-11-27T09:26:00.000Z

Playing Catch-up...

2006-11-23T09:59:00.000Z

For a city as hi-tech as Tokyo it's surprisingly hard to find a reliable internet connection... the hotel room cables don't work on my laptop and there's very few wireless networks floating around. You kind of have to grab it when you can, like last night when Paul slept or right now when he's out shopping...

So. Where were we? Yesterday was the last gig of the mini-tour and we played a crazy downstairs venue that must have been 5 or 6 stories below ground level... it was a really early start as there was a club night afterwards. Today is a national holiday - if I'm right it's a National Pride day - so they were all having big parties into the night. We were finished by 8pm and out of the venue by half past, narrowly avoiding the uber fans outside but inadvertedly missing our stage manager Ace in the process... I never got to say thanks to him which was a terrible shame as he was such a great guy.

All afternoon we had been utterly bushwacked, and while gigs can usually be relied on to wake you up this one failed in that respect. My legs were shaking so violently on stage that I had to use the bass cabs to hold me up... I didn't even have the energy to dance during the second half and when it was finished I almost fell down the stairs in search of alcohol. All that aside, the gig was a good one - great crowd, nice set-up and I don't think I fucked anything up, although Simon did manage to accidentally rip out my video cable in the middle of 65 Doesn't Understand You, but that happens occasionally.

The night was a struggle I have to admit. Mr Kono and Takeshi from Zinkyo records took us out to a traditional Japanese restaurant (shoes off and everything!) and I kind of wigged out again... but as always a great meal and hearty round of drinks managed to stave off the collapse for another couple of hours. Takeshi took us on a guided tour of his club, rehearsal studio and office and then joined us in the hotel for another few hours as we drank and chatted the night away.

Slept in this morning, which was much needed, and then embarked on our day off with gusto. We first called in at HMV and Tower Records so the boys could sign some things and thank the purchasers for their support... it was all very odd, big cardboard standees of their faces resting next to the promo items for Tom Waits' new album, when did this happen to my friends? The Black Spider, our tour manager, has been immortalised recently by having a Mogwai track named him and that was on the next shelf over from 65. It all seems so... bizarre.

And then we shopped. Shopped with all that we could muster. Presents, treats, junk, curios... it all fell into hands after a while. I spent much of the day looking for something inherently Japanese but the Tokyo shops kind of resemble the London shops, or New York shops. I found some exciting stuff, though, when we made it into the Harajuku district and then later an extremely cool market area - all under the expert directions of Mr Kono.

We also made it to the Shubuya Shrine where two former Emperors are entombed - that was amazing, but again very odd as you leave the absolute pandamonium of the Tokyo streets and step into a tranquil and near empty section of the city. We saw a traditional wedding, made donantions and received wisdom... and then went back into the world where Harajuku girls walk around dressed as schoolgirls or babies offering comfort to lonely men.

Tonight we're doing a nice meal out to commemorate the trip, and then it's an 11 hour flight tomorrow morning. I think I'm prepared for the trip - the idea of it isn't freaking me out or anything - but I'd be lying if I said I was looking forward to it. Now I have a basic knowledge of the city I would love to come back with Isobel or friends and explore and discover it properly... I think it's fair to say that I have fallen in love with this country, but I have yet to consumate that love. I NEED MORE TIME!

Third and final night..

2006-11-22T18:56:00.000Z

Well, we're done... that's the last 65 show in Japan and probably the last for the year. After my initially optimistic post earlier today I slipped into extreme fatigue mode and spent the whole afternoon and evening shaking and feeling ill. Dinner at another excellent Japanese restaurant and a few beers helped, mind... our guide for the evening was Takeshi from Zinkyo Records who guided us through the meal, a short visit to his club (where we watched a really rather good Japanese nu-metal band) and then back to the hotel for drinks and a little bit of ferverent conversation.

Takeshi is 31 and had his first taste of Jack Daniels tonight. We toasted the occasion appropriatey...

I's 4am, Paul is sleeping... I have to go to bed.

Post 100!

2006-11-22T04:54:00.000Z

I am the tallest person in Osaka - a literal and figurative head and shoulders above everyone else. I've got used to people staring at me now, although it is a bit strange to find yourself walking next to a handful of schoolgirls who keep glancing my way and giggling... it happens a couple of times a day, but not once have I felt that I'm being mocked. Maybe I should be.

Osaka is what I imagined Japan to be like. A huge, sprawling cityscape with neon as far as the eye can see, a wealth of consumer options and more people than I'd be able to count even if they stood still. Paul and I crashed for an hour or so when we arrived and then, under great physical duress, forced ourselves to get up and go exploring. I think I may have moved too quickly... going from exhausted slumber to the center of Osaka in five minutes was overwhelming and I kind of wigged out. I was determined to do some shopping and find some presents, but I found myself just standing in shoe shops blinking and not knowing where I was. Luckily we bumped into Carl, Pauls friend from university, so he had someone to talk to while I staggered around and mumbled in tongues. It was even weirder when we realised we were being stalked by an uber 65 fan...

The show was excellent - I totally owned the visuals this time round. Paul and I realigned the Midi triggers and everything fell into place, I even nailed New Song No.1 which is rarely exactly right. The crowd responded really really well, especially when we dropped all the lights out during Robs drum solo in Arabic and just had the flashing video screen. The roar from the crowd at that moment made pretty much everything we've done up to this point worthwhile... it was extremely satisfying, and much appreciated!

After the struggle to get past the autograph hunters at the end we made our way to the famous Rock-Rock bar where we hung out with a whole bunch of people including Ace, our resident tech manager who is the very definition of the word ROCK. Things turned messy, as they always do, and when I realised Ozzy was competing with a professional air guitarist to the strains of Motorhead I decided to head home. On the way Joe and I managed to get lost on the side streets... but we found our way eventually thanks to a very helpful golden Buddha.

Slept. Woke. Taxi. Bullet train. Tokyo again. Feel brilliant. Huzzah.

Speedy sleeplessness

2006-11-21T05:37:00.000Z

Greetings from the Bullet Train! As I write this we are speeding at 130mph through the Japanese countryside... well, I say countryside but it's more aptly described as occasional punctuations of mountains in-between settlements. The two cities of Tokyo and Osaka sprawl out to almost meet each other, and if the Japanese could find a way to build on the mountain, then they would.

The gig last night was difficult. Power transformers surged on our equipment, the 65 super-brain computer refused to boot and I had problems with the timing of the videos. The visuals are triggered at the beginning of each track by a Midi hookup to 65 but over time they appear to have slipped. Drove Through Ghosts was a good 10 seconds out of synch, as was the always problematic 65 Doesn't Understand You. I can pull these problems back and get them back in synch with relative ease, but the fact that it is happening at all is very worrying. When we get to Osaka Paul and I will need to go through all the triggers and realign them. Fun.

The gig, actually, already seems like a distant memory... we had about an hour of downtime as the kit was packed up and we were speeded, stinking and sweating as we were, to a 14th floor Japanese restaurant for dinner with the promotions company. With a view over nighttime Tokyo we dined on shrimp dumplings, skewered chicken, fresh tofu, deep fried prawns, insane fried rice, incredible sushi, anchovy salad and pitches and pitches of domestic beer. It was probably the finest meal I have eaten since Robs birthday in Italy earlier this year, and it was a pleasure to finally have proper Japanese cuisine.

The classic line of "a quick beer before bed" ended up, predictably, with us staying in a local bullet riddled bar until 3am, and then continuing the party in kimonos in the hotel room with the remnants of the Jack Daniels rider. We met the local rich bling kids in the lift, all diamond encrusted teeth and Scarface paraphenalia. "Japanese weedu" they yelled to us as we staggered out at our floor "best in the world!" Bed at 5. Up at 9. Train. Incredible.

Japan is rushing past me at high speeds. Shanty towns, expensive cityscapes, industrial complexes, power stations, mountain dwellings, wide rivers... this country is amazing, and the width and breadth of diversity in the landscape is breathtaking. The mountains tower over everything, hazy and distant and appearing out of the mist like a looming bully. Everyone else is asleep. They've seen it all before... not me.

Stiletto

2006-11-20T06:44:00.000Z

I'm writing this from the spacious dressing room of the Tokyo Liquid Room where we've just spent the last three hours setting up. If only all gigs were like this... we have a veritable army of people helping us, from light manouvering and PC repairs to my own personal gaggle of assistants moving screens around and wiring up projectors. I spent most of my time walking around with my hands behind my back directing people to do my bidding. Well, kind of... they know what they're doing and so there's very little for me to actually approve, I just waited for them to be finished really.

I'm so hungover. So so so so hungover. Tht was always the plan, mind, as Rob pointed out it's better to have a hangover than jet-lag but I feel I may have goe above and beyond the calling. The Tokyo label took us ut for dinner last night to an incredible Brazilian restaurant with a great salad bar and a large number of waiters circling with skewers of meat. Many many free beers later and we made our way to a tiny little punk-rock bar where we more than over indulged on Stilettos (straight JD nd Amaretto) into the wee hours. We staggered back in the pouring rain, reeling from a combination of exhaustion, alcohol and excitement and kept going in the hotel rooms until about 3am. The last I saw of Ozzy, the guitar tech, was him going down in the glass elevator to try and find some McDonalds.

LATER

Well, after 2 hours of watching the tech guys set up the projector and some very big probems with power surges and broken computers we've just done the sound check. The gig tonight is sold out, the venue is awesome, the staff lovely and expectations are high... really looking forward to it! Best of all, though, the car park next to us is one of those crazy car-stacking places that has all their vehicles on rotating levels. This country is wicked!

Made it...

2006-11-19T08:28:00.000Z

So... we're in the Shibuya district of Tokyo. This is the view from our hotel room. Not bad, eh? I've seen these crossroads in so many movies that it seems utterly bizarre to me that we're now towering above it as we sleep.

The flight was long and arduous, although not as long and arduous as I was prepared for. The strangest thing was flying into the night, watching darkness take hold and trying very hard to sleep even though my body knew it was really about 4pm. The steady flow of Gin and Tonics helped matters, as did the ample movie selection (I plumped for Taladega Nights and Severence, if you're interested) but there's no denying that when we hit the 11th hour it all started getting a little bit too much.

So we've now been up for well over 24 hours, although I appear to have tricked my body into not believing that by taking off my watch and refusing to contemplate UK time. We're off out for dinner at 7 so we're all just hanging onto conciousness until after then...

Tokyo is insane. It's like they just plonked buildings down in every available space and then built up from there. The first 5 floors of this building is a shopping center, then 14 more floors of hotel, then 5 floors of private apartments, then a restaurant... the whole city is piled on top of itself. Shops are within shops, bars are in doorways, TVs on sticks, speakers on crossings... getting down the street is like a scrum but everyone is so damned nice.

There is obviously lots more to report but, frankly, I need to get a shower and lay down for a few minutes before going out. Paul is writing postcards, Joe is asleep, Rob is bored and Simon is jet-lagged... just an hour and a half to go before food and then we can sleep. In the venue at 11 tomorrow to set everything up - the tour crew over here seem really nice so we shouldn't have too many problems...

Food
Sleep
Food
Sleep

More photos at Day of the Dave.

Food
Sleep

Out.
xxx

General Matters

2006-11-17T23:12:00.000Z

Well.
We're off.
Tomorrow morning. Taxi at 7am. Flight at 1pm. 10 hour flight. Arrive at 9am Sunday. That's already messing with my head.

Japan, baby!

It's a little hard to get my head around, truth be told. I remember I started out with 65 because no-one else was old enough to drive their van... now I'm being flown half way round the world on someone elses dollar to do what I love, with my friends... it seems too good to be true. I'm riding the curtails of their success, no doubt, but I can cope with that - I'm just happy that we get to take the Media Lounge with them.

I'll be updating from there as often as I can, and I'll be posting photos on Day of the Dave as well. There's a chance, although this isn't confirmed, that this blog will be being published on the BBC South Yorkshire Raw Talent page as well. Check for updates.

Our plan B remixes have made their way online. Here they are:

See you in the next world, brother.

Japanified

2006-11-13T13:00:00.000Z

5 days until we leave.

20th: JAPAN. Tokyo, Liquid Room.
21st: JAPAN. Osaka, Club Quattro
22nd: JAPAN. Tokyo, Unit.

Very excited.

Heroic cross-platform marketing

2006-11-12T01:49:00.000Z

Series 1, episode 7 of the new hit NBC show Heroes

Claire is an invincible cheerleader who cannot die, her brother has just stolen a tape that proves her aformentioned invincibility and has locked himself in a car so she can't get it back. With her friend Zack she tries to coax him out the car.

Claire: Give it me back.
Brother: No! I'm gonna put this on YouTube and make like a million bucks.
Zack: YouTube is free you idiot!

I don't know if you know much about Heroes, but much of its success has been attributed to the teaser trailer they put on, you've guessed it, YouTube.

Nice to see them returning the favour, and mentioning that it's free as well...

Updated Dead

2006-11-11T23:33:00.000Z

There's a new updated version of Night of the Living Dead being released... this time in 3D. You can view the trailer here.

Want to know just how updated it is...? Check out the screen grab below and tell me that's not incredible for all the wrong reasons

UPDATED: As Matt pointed out in the comments section, there's also a brilliant disclaimer at the end that I didn't notice on the first view. If ever something screamed 'legal obligation' it's this:

Caroline Hustings... where are you?????

2006-11-09T23:41:00.000Z

I have a little service run by a website called Blog Patrol that lets me know how many visitors I have, what countries they come from, what pages refer them, what their IP addresses are, what brand of shoe they're wearing - that sort of innocent thing. Most stuff is pretty innocuous and helps me see how certain links like MySpace, YouTube and 65dos help get me readers.

Every now and then it throws up some interesting facts. The phrase "Swearing in German" is my number one linked from google search, I get more readers from Israel than I do Ireland, a link to my blog appears, inexplicably, when you search for "you tube video feet sniffing sandal" (here's the weird thing, I actually have made a video about feet sniffing and put it on YouTube, but I've never mentioned it here... weird!).

Anyway, I got a link this evening from someone searches Google for "Caroline Hustings" and they went to an old blog I wrote about Friends Reunited in which I talked about a girl who I went to school with called Caroline Hustings. Now, I have no idea if it was the Caroline Husting I went to school with who was Googling herself or a different Caroline Hustings. Most likely is wasn't my Caroline, but what if it was? I never thought about using blogs and the vain act of Googling to try to find people before, so I'd like to try it.

Here is a list of a few people that I'd like to get back in touch with, I've chosen people from school so as to tie this in with Caroline.

David Hughes
Matthew Lilley
Helen Whitrow
Elizabeth (Liz) Morrell
Andrew Bastock

Right, five people - nice and simple. Here are a few keywords to shake the whole thing up a little:

Nottingham Bramcote Hills Comprehensive School Chilwell Beeston Parkview Sixth Form Centre Sherwin Arms Field Moor Lane

If any of these people end up swinging their way here then I'd love for them to leave a comment and say hi. I tried Googling all these people and couldn't find a thing, then I tried Googling the name of every school friend I could remember but still to no avail. In fact the only lead I got was this man: Rizwan Ahmed. He looks alot like my friend Rizwan Ahmed, and his name is the same but his website has no mention at all of every being in the UK and when we were meant to be doing Sociology together he was reputedly a Student Facility Member at a university in New Dehli. Unlikely to be the same guy.

The only person who I successfully found was me. According to Blog Patrol no-one has ever come to this blog by searching for 'Dave Holloway' which I guess is part of the problem of calling yourself Dave Medlo online (another problem is realising it sounds like a surname and thus everyone thinks you've named the business after yourself).

I'm now going to do another search for Caroline Hustings and I'll be damned if I don't get pole position.

Our man in Qatar

2006-11-04T01:40:00.000Z

This is Mr Heap.

Mr Heap has been a spiritual guide of the Media Lounge for quite some time now. He could always be found gently pulling the strings at the Vibe Bar nights and the Big Chill shows when not busy running the highly important VJs.net. A few months ago Mr Heap took a job at the Al Jazeera English network in Doha, the State of Qatar in the Middle East.

Mr Heap has started a blog called A Man in the Desert and it's a very interesting read, I urge you to check it out. He's far from harm but close to the action.

Meet the Moustache...

2006-10-30T23:31:00.000Z

...and then wave goodbye as it vanished about 10 minutes later.

Lesson learnt.

Art vs Commerce...

2006-10-28T02:21:00.000Z

...or how to sell a difficult subject to the Americans.

Death of a President US Trailer

Conceived as a fictional TV documentary broadcast in 2008, reflecting on another monstrously despicable and cataclysmic event: the assassination of President George W. Bush on October 19th, 2007. The “documentary” combines archival footage and carefully composed interviews, presented in a respectful and dignified manner.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it - hurrah for getting a theatrical release - it's just interesting to note the language used.

New Music Video

2006-10-24T18:55:00.000Z

"New music video for the Low Lows. 'Dear Flies Love Spider' is from the album 'Fire on the Bright Sky' released by Monotreme Records. Video produced by Medlo, directed by Dave Holloway."

YouTube link.

Daemons

2006-10-24T14:08:00.000Z

Isobel and I went to a discussion of Philip Pullmans His Dark Materials trilogy last night, as part of the Sheffield Off The Shelf Literary Festival. It was hosted by the Dean of Sheffield in a United Reformed Church and we were expecting a certain amount of criticism of Pullman and "his picture of a corrupt church and a powerless and dying God" but we got a very balanced, very illuminating discussion.

One of my biggest issues with organised religion is the acceptance of classic texts as proof of God, but the Reverend Peter Bradley was quite happy to discuss the varying ways in which text can be interpreted to explain meaning, and that no-one point of view is correct. He was also very happy to admit that Pullmans view of 'The Church' (in these books the Church is an amalgamation of many of our organised religions) is somewhat fair, certainly in lieu of religious history.

Overall it was a very interesting, very intriguing event that ran on slightly too long but was hosted by a very personable, very humourous, very well read and very well educated man who I would not have thought a member of the clergy if it were not for the dog collar.

One of the issues under debate was Pullmans use of daemons. In classical literature sense the Daemon is an extension of the soul, and that it is used to Pullmans work. In this world each person is born with an daemon, a physical manifestation of their soul that takes many animal forms in childhood and becomes fixed as they enter adulthood. Your daemon is by your side thoughout all of your life - they are your conscience and your confidant and you cannot be separated without tragic consequences.

We were asked to consider what our daemon would be, and I half jokingly said that Hobbes, our slightly restless ginger cat, was the closest thing I had to a daemon. You've met Hobbes, right? He looks like this:

When we got home last night Hobbes was dutifully waiting outside the house, and then tripped over my feet as I popped upstairs to do a spot of internet uploading stuff. When I went out to get some food he followed me all the way to the take away, miaowing as he went. He then sat outside the take away while I collected the pizza, and followed me home all the way... running ahead and scouting for trouble.

I think Hobbes is my daemon. He was there outside the bedroom when we got up, he follows me into the bathroom to check for danger and he's been sniffing and sleeping on the pillow that Isobel uses since. Yup, that cat is part of my soul.

Apologies to Rob for turning this into a cat blog.

A little gossip, a few thoughts and a handful of concerns...

2006-10-22T22:59:00.000Z

Dum de dum. Waiting for a video to upload to YouTube. It may not work so I kind of need to hang on until it processes, and it's taking aaaaaaages. Check the YouTube page in the morning and see if it's there.

Just finished a music video for the Low Lows which is what I'm uploading, plus we're in the middle of doing two video remixes for Plan B. I'm doing the hardcore Bennigbrooks drum n bass mix which is proving to be easier than I first thought... it is a painfully annoying track that, in all senses of the term, rings in your ears for hours after. I have developed a new found appreciation for the drum n bass artist though, and the simplicity of their form. These days I wouldn't be able to afford the drugs required to dance to this music. Sad, but true.

Had a lovely weekend - fun, productive and appropriately bizarre. Friday night and Saturday was spent down in Nottingham with Isobel. We just hung out, met some odd people, ate some nice food and watched Green Wing (a programme I have previously derided but now have an utmost appreciation for). She starts a job in Sheffield in a couple of weeks which is extremely exciting - it means I get to see my girl more often!

Damn. The video failed. Ok, here's another new one that you may like:

Saturday night was intriguing - just another night at work, except I got to meet* Timothy West, Prunella Scales and Alicia Witt, who played the Zoe in Cybil. She was an adolescant fantasy of mine, especially as the Darlene replacement on Cybil, and it was great to see she's as stunning in real life.

I've learnt a new phrase; "are you gonna shut up or I have to put my dick in your mouth?" Problem is I can't find anybody to say it to without causing mass offence or misconceptions about my sexuality.

They call me MR Beard.

Dave Out.

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*By meet, I mean serve popcorn to, direct to the toilet and say 'thank you' when they leave.

I've met somebody

2006-10-15T23:23:00.000Z

His name is Dennis. He's 48 years old and lives in the United States. I met Dennis when I left a comment on this video on YouTube:

The comment I left said this:

"Robert Greenwald is a great man. Check out his work on 'Outfoxed: Rupert Murdochs War on Journalism.' We need more filmmakers like him..."

Almost instantly Dennis replied with this touching message:

"Looks like we have a parade of USEFUL IDIOTS in here who will believe anything the left spits out. Joseph Goebbels will be proud."

I didn't reply to this, but when Dennis made this remark:

I wish some right wing filmaker would make a documentary on how Clinton, Albright, and meddler-in-chief, Jimmy Carter, appeased North Korea in 1994 and gave the despot, fuel, food, and nuclear technology (with a condition not to use it for weapons, yeah right!) Way to go Clinton! Kim Il Jung is grateful !

I felt compelled to reply:

You do know that Haliburton have been selling nuclear enrichment technology to Iran for the last 7 years, don't you?

Don't tell me you made that comment without knowing that, because that'd be stupid.

Ok, I admit it. I was a bit drunk and slightly argumentative. Dennis replied promptly with a fair and balanced comment.

With all the biased major networks in cahoots with the liberal Democrats, who equally hates Haliburton, that will be the top headline news by now. Howcome the liberal media is not pursuing this scoop of a story that you claim? Is it because it's not credible and cannot be verified or substantiated? In other words, it's a lie. I guess you lack the common sense to ask these intelligent questions. Like all Michael Moore groupies, who'll believe everything, I'm not surprised.

By this point I had done a little research on Dennis and discovered that he had quite a penchant for arguing, throwing insults and making wild claims. Much like myself - I thought I had found a a friend! Here a few highlights of Dennis' other comments:

What's really amusing (and simply amazing) is you lefties have a cabal of propagandists like Michael Moore, Robert Greenwald, Al Franken and his bankrupt Air america, Davis Guggenheim, clueless Clooney, the Hollywood elite, NBC, CBS, ABC et al, to make fakecumentaries, movies or editorials (disguised as news) to drive the lefties/socialist agenda. The irony is, it doesn't work. And those who think for themselves, and will not absorb sound bites and talking points, don't need these tripe.

You have absolutely no moral clarity and a sufficient brain matter to make you think sensibly. Typical Lefty.

The inconsistency of the liberals is staggering. They don't want us to fight the war on terrorism anywhere else or Iraq--yet they want us in Darfur! And their silly bleeding heart notion that a behavior problem can be stopped with money. (But Bush gave Africa 8.6 billion in aid anyway).

There will be no government or country if you don't wake up to the reality that we have an enemy that wants to annihilate us and impose Islam on our throats. If you want to wear the Burkha, then I guess you just sit around on your sorry ass and wait for them to succeed.

I can picture it now....dredlocks that stinks, nose rings, perhaps on the tongue, tatoo of Che Guevarra on the shoulder, awfully unkemp clothes, long strapped bag with 'peace'sign sticker, in between the 'Free Tibet" and rainbow stickers, Sandals, an old model VW with anti-Bush rhetorics plastered all over, and most of all, a Kerry--Edward campaign bumper sticker

Aha! another Dixie Chicks clone! Take my advice, Don't make a big mistake of politicizing your show! People pay to hear you perform and not some gobledygook diatribe against Republicans. So shut up and sing! Leave your DDH4B(Demented,Deranged Hatred for Bush) syndrome at home.

With all your incoherrent drivel against Democracy,
conservatives, capitalism, Christians, oil companies, military, America and its ideals or mocking patriotism, and your preoccupation with those rich, white men, Who are you fooling? You're as a Leftist as the next Stalin. Perhaps your college professor is reeling with pride for you.

And here's another fact, we are facing an evil, ruthless, barbaric enemy, unprecendented in human history, who will stop at nothing to annihilate us and shove down their 16th century religion on our throats. You are more concerned with Haliburton than our survival as a civilization and a free society. You're all consumed with hatred with one man and made it your mission in life to destroy this man. By the looks of it, you consider your own country as the enemy!

Anyway. He was jumping down everyones throats and being very entertaining, so I wrote:

I'd hate to see things the way you you do. I've been reading all your posts and you're just so angry at everybody. You call people names and accuse them of all manner of things. You've leapt on every person who's left a comment that doesn't directly agree with you, that's pretty dark.

And then the fireside chats began:

Better look in the mirror before you judge me. You people on the left are nothing but vile and vicious hate filled bunch. How many on your side have called for the assasination of the President? From columnists to liberal blogs & talkshow hosts. You even have a movie about President Bush's assasination. Remember Alec Baldwin's tirade calling for the stoning to death of a Republican legislator? I could list alot more of your hatefests to show your hypocrasy-but space is limited.

What happened to your claim about Haliburton? You didn't (or afraid?) to respond about the Liberal media's reluctance to follow up your story. Your silence means only one thing..I am Right.

Here's a good read for you: Overturning Liberalism with Common sense Thinking by Kevin McCullough. This has been my strategy all along, Common sense! your Haliburton claim is just an example. One would have the common sense to think that the liberal media will not let your allegations pass, if it were true and will be headline news for weeks--but where is it? I haven't seen it on CNN, your official liberal gazzette. I will be reading this soon to get more ammunition.

Another 'holier than thou' liberal trying to triangulate and lecturing me about decorum and decency. And even attempting to psycho-analyse moi. while you're at it, why don't you include Cindy Sheehan, Al Franken, sewermouth Streisand, Harry Belafonte, Howard Dean, the left's darling, Hugo Chavez! Too bad space is limited.

So that's Dennis. He's my new buddy. I hope you'll welcome him as one of your own.

Here are a couple more of Dennis' wonderful comment postings. You can read the whole comments page here.

This is not about Saudi Arabia, This is about the Muslims Jihadists/Islamo fascists scatered all over the world, coniving, scheming, planning executing to kill us! Zawahiri and Atta are Egyptians, Zarqawi is Jordanian, then there's Adam Gadahn, A (Jewish) AMERICAN traitor. There are no boundaries among Jihadists, they have one mission: they all want us dead! Here's a suggested bumper sticker that's ideal for you--"It's about our survival, stupid!"

How about ULTIMATE VICTORY as a plan? A concept foreign to you Libs. What's worse, you liberals are tying our hands to achieve this goal. You're against detaining the enemy combatants, giving them all kinds of rights, you're against intelligence to monitor their plans and funding schemes, You're against everything that could fight them effectively! To me that's aiding and abetting the enemy.

Folks! This is what happens when the left is cornered and loses the argument, they will attack you and avoid the issue.

The circle is complete

2006-10-10T21:48:00.000Z

To complete the trilogy I have started up a Night of the Dave blog as well. So far it's my own personal news splurge with stories I find interesting and, when I have the time, my thoughts on them.

Below is the first item I posted on there, my response to the '25 Questions That Undermine the 9/11 Truth Movement.' This is the first and only time I'll cross post, but this response took me ages to write so I figured it's ok to repeat.

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25 Questions That Undermine the 9/11 Truth Movement

This list of questions was recently posted on NeoAetheism.com and was addressed to those naysayers who don't believe the official US administrations explanation after investigations into 9/11. Most recently these naysayers have started using film as a medium to convey their doubts - as witnessed in such productions as Loose Change and Press For Truth.

My responses are in white.

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Question #1. If the government was willing to slaughter 3,000 people for a political agenda, why haven’t inconveniences like Dylan Avery and Steven Earl Jones been silenced?

Conspiracy theorists will always exist, and they can always be painted as extremists and lunatics by the powers that be. Silencing them would have no purpose when they can just be discredited. Hell, look what happens to someone who has a legitimate complaint when they take on the right-wing media...

Question #2. Why was not one of the plane hijackers from Afghanistan or Iraq? Why were most of them from Saudi Arabia? Doesn’t that place the U.S. in a negative light?

It's not like the US administration personally hired these hi-jackers - they didn't take out help wanted ads in local papers. Osama Bin Laden, once an employee of the US, was exactly the right person to do the job. A quick word in his ear would be all that would be required to instigate this plan. When people say the US government was behind it, they don't mean they did all the planning, phone calls and photocopying - it means they were aware of the machinations in place and willfully chose to ignore them so as to create a war of distraction and create an unified, utopian, Christian country.

And as for the Saudi thing - yes it make them look bad, but they probably thought they could cover up the truth and succeed on the basis of their propaganda. They believed themselves to be the bastion of truth and that people would trust in them whatever they said. Alas, it was same theory for Scooter Libby, Ken Lay, Haliburton and, oh, the Iraq invasion.

Question #3. Why has as leftists claim no WMD been found in Iraq? Couldn’t the Bush administration easily plant them there?

That doesn't matter. What matters is they got to invade Iraq, got to invade Afghanistan, got to topple both governments and replace them with their own puppet presidents and, most importantly, seize control of their oil. Like they're trying to do with Iran right now. The ends justify the means. WMD? Yesterdays news and they know it.

Question #4. When Bush was told about the 9/11 attack in that classroom on that morning, why did he sit there for seven minutes? Why didn’t he in an act, display himself as a hero that was going to counteract the wrong that was done against our nation?

This isn't about the US administration planning the attacks. It's about instigating a chain of events that they can control and use to their benefit. It's doubtful Bush ever knew this was going to happen... he couldn't, it's way too risky. But Cheney and Rumsfeld, for example, could.

The overall idea behind all this was to provide an enemy for the Amercian public so, trembling in fear, they would align themselves behind their president and give carte blanche to the administration to do whatever was neccessary. This of course would provide cover for any foreign policy changes and any invasions that may need to be done to cover the enormous dependancy the US has on foreign, and mostly middle-eastern, oil. Problem is, the president wigged out and froze and didn't display himself to be the hero that he should have been - he did exactly the opposite. Much like in Iraq where they didn't embrace the US invasion and started fighting back.

Question #5. How is it that the Bush administration executed the most cleverly orchestrated conspiracy of all time but was not able to cover up a minor hunting incident involving Dick Cheney?

You need to lose the idea of a conspiracy - it's not like 24 with President Logan taking secret phone calls in the Oval Office, it's about a chain of events being triggered that play, ultimately, to Western interest. There's nothing to cover up, except almost a willful desire to ignore any advance warning.

Question #6. Why is it that Arabs across the Middle East danced in the streets with joy over 9/11? Were they paid off by the C.I.A.? You can view the Middle East response by text or check out a documentary showcasing it here.

Jeez. These questions are written by a guy who's read the Da Vinci Code one too many times. You think that the whole Arab response was orchestrated? Stupid question.

Question #7. Now Bush devised 9/11 with the intention to blame Muslims right? Why pray tell did he allow the granting of a visa to terrorist sponsor Mohammad Khatami? The former dictator of Iran? At the Islamic Society of North America, he had this to say,” As America claims to be fighting terrorism, it implements policies that cause the intensification of terrorism and institutionalized violence… Public opinion can be rescued from the grips of ignorance and blunder and the domination of arrogant, warmongering and violence-triggering policies will end.” During the Israel-Lebanon conflict he described Hezbollah as a “shining sun that illuminates and warms the hearts of all Muslims and supporters of freedom in the world.” Wouldn’t Bush do whatever it took to maintain his credibility and thus not let him in?

All these question utterly miss the point of the 9/11 Truth Movement. It's not about absolute control - you're imagining a fascistic society from the 1940s - it's about a political landscape that allows for the dominance of one ideology over another. Dissidence is good. Opinion is good. It creates the impression of a free society. Why would the Administraion (I'm not saying President here as it's stupid to imply that he was the mastermind) orchestrate such events and then become fascistic in nature immediately afterwards? Again, stupid question.

Question #8. Why did the draft that the likes of John Kerry kept parroting never come into occurrence?

The military draft is a subject that's brought up whenever America enters a conflict. It has no relevance here.

Question #9. If George W. Bush invaded Iraq for oil, why did it take three years for the oil production there to rise above pre-war levels?

Again, what do you imagine? They invade Iraq and the first step is the oilfields? That would be an acknowledgment of their real intentions. The Iraq oil production has stayed out of the headlines and allowed to slowly build. Who cares about that when there's American soldiers dying? That is such a naive question.

The more interesting points to note are the speed with which the Taliban government were ousted and given an ex-Oil lobbyist as a president instead, and the fact that US Peak Oil Production occured sometime in the early 1970s. The three largest untapped oil reserves in the world are in Afghanistan, the Middle East and Kazikstan. Invaded one, tried to invade another and courting the last with promises of investment.

Question #10. Why has there been not a single structural engineering expert that has come forward saying 9/11 was done by the government?

Who says they haven't? Who said they tried and were discredited by the Administration and ignored by the media.

Question #11. There are allegations that a missile hit the pentagon. As shown by the pictures in this computer simulation showing light poles sliced in two, how could a missile do this? The "9/11 Truth Movement" still has yet to explain the enormous eyewitness accounts found here and here.

I'd still like to know how a plane vaporised on impact when that's proven to be physically impossible. Seriously. Missile or no missle, where's the remains on the fucking plane?

Question #12. There’s no dispute that two planes hit the world trade centers. Were men of the C.I.A. willing to die for the Bush administration by flying the planes?

Good god! These really are stupid questions. They were real Arabs, with a real willingness to die. They weren't CIA men browned up and putting on silly accents.

Question #13. What is the difference when the religious can not explain an event and say “God did it!” and conspiracy theorists who can not explain an event and say “Bush did it!”?

Those planes really hit those towers, and somewhere down the line someone really allowed this to happen. God did not throw the planes. Is this question meant to be philisophical or rhetorical? Either way, the two are incomparable.

It's these sort of opinions that contribute directly to idea that anyone who questions the official line is a conspiracy nut. It's irresponsable and it's naive. I don't agree with everything in Loose Change - in fact I thing much of it is pretty flimsy - but, good grief, they're valid questions and we deserve answers.

Question #14. How come Bill Clinton isn't said to be part of the conspiracy? Didn't he let Osama Bin Laden go numerous times?

Yeah, all you have to do is check the signatures on all those pardons that Osama received. I could go on about Clinton being terrorised to distraction by Republican hitmen over a sexual misdemeanor and use Bosnia as an example but that would give further weight to the validity of these questions. I will say, though, that Cheney and Rumsfeld have been in the Administration since before Reagan (who, lest we forget, employed Bin Laden in the first place and gave him the funding and training he needed). Presidents are puppets, it's the people controlling the strings you need to worry about.

Question #15. Applying Occam's razor, don't we come to the conclusion that human incompetence would be the most reasonable explanation for the 9/11 tragedy?

Greed, my friend, is the most reasonable explanation for the 9/11 tragedy. That and a near divine belief that you, and only you, are right.

Question #16. Seeing as how most of the war conspiracies have to do with oil endeavors, why has the United States placed an oil embargo on Iran for quite some time now?

Two reasons; The first is to keep the world oil production at a steady level - an influx of the stuff would be as bad for the economy as a shortage. These people aren't stupid - they're ex-oil men for Christs sake. It's not about having all the oil in the world NOW, it's about controlling the supply in the future.
The second has to do with alliance - Iran famously sold their oil in Euros, not dollars, which undermined the US currency. That was when the 'Iran could make a bomb' stories first emerged (incidentally, Halliburton have been selling nuclear enrichment technology to Iran since 2000 - which was when Bush and Cheney dismantled the 'selling nuclear materials to rogue nations' law - arguing it was against the free speech rights of corporations to restrict who they can do business with). Iran, also incidentally, was a friend of the US during the initial war on terror but found their offers of negotiation flatly ignored once Afghanistan was conquored. They then appeared as one of the 'axis of evil' which gave fuel to the anti-US sentiment that was brewing.

Anyway. Iran is with China. China is the new world superpower and has unprecidented control over the US because of their overwhelming import / export ratio. Obviously you can't fuck with the Chinese, but you can fuck with their major oil supplier.

Question #17. What fascist government in history has butchered thousands of people only then to let people openly protest it across the country?

Heh. France. It's also worth noting that the US aren't (at least openly) a fascistic government. To paraphrase Noam Chomsky, why bother controlling people when you can make them think they're free?

Question #18. Taking the conspiracy at face value, why aren't aren't the "9/11 Truthers" getting the hell out of the United States? Wouldn't they be gravely afraid from a government that just menacingly slaughtered three thousand of its own citizens?

Dude, that's a stupid fucking question.

Question #19. Wouldn't a 9/11 conspiracy demonstrate the horrific consequence of big government? So why are "9/11 Truthers" still consistently for government based solutions (Medicare, Social Security, welfare, etc., and even government education)?

Ignoring how loaded and inaccurately phrased your question is (there's that suggestion that you're either one or the other again - how people love to polarise an issue) it is still retarded. Asking questions about the most significant event of our generation and believing in the basic requirements of government to provide services and aid for its population are utterly unconnected.

Question #20. How can it be that the "9/11 Truthers" believe in such a sinister government and at the same time want to deprive the common man the tools to stop it (being for gun control)?

Once again you have stopped picking holes in the arguments and started alluding to the 'un-American' attitude of anybody who dares raise these issues. Your question is another example of the slow form of socialisation that occurs to convince the public at large that not following the official party line is unpatriotic.

With this question your are directly suggesting that these '9/11 Truthers' are working against the people of the United States. Where does the assumption that people who don't believe the official explanation of 9/11 want to suppress your basic freedoms come from? In the wake of this terrible event you have seen far more suppression of human rights by your own government than by the people who question them.

As for your example of gun control. Are you fucking serious? How are the two connected? Although I'd say that the events of the last week are enough to suggest that, I dunno, automatic weapons shouldn't be available to the general public or, oh lets see, the NRA fight against banning weapons on school property wasn't their greatest move. While you're at it why not claim that abortions rob America of good patriots, or that the death penalty is good old Western justice, or that they hate Bush because they won't accept Jesus as their personal saviour?

Dude. You're a tool.

Question #21. Why wasn't the conspiracy done at night so that it has a lesser chance of being exposed?

Great question. I have no answer to that. Exactly how does one do a "conspiracy at night"?

Question #22. Why didn't the goverment just exclusively use the bombs (that allegedly brought down the towers) instead of involving the planes in the WTC attacks? Doesn't that just needlessly overcomplicate things and create a greater chance of being discovered as a government plot?

Again, another great question. Well done. You were having a real brain day there. What's more suspicious; two building essential to the world economy suddenly blow up for no reason and the government say it was terrorists. Or actual terrorists really attack a building and the government get to exploit world favour and do what they want.

Question #23. Why did the conspiracy arrangers crash a plane in the middle of nowhere instead of using it to kill even more people?

I think we can all agree that the passengers of the Flight 93 really did bring that plane down before it hit its target.

Question #24. Why crash a plane into the pentagon? Doesn't just hamper the efforts toward the wars to come?

Because that'd be like robbing every house on a street except yours. Want another cliche? You can't make an omlette without breaking some eggs.

Question #25. George W. Bush claims that the terrorists hate us because of our freedoms. So why wasn't the Statue of Liberty attacked to demonstrate this?

Firstly they don't hate us because of our freedoms. That's rhetocial nonsense that means nothing. They hate us because our freedoms are secured by oppressing, bullying and controlling the rest of the world and - above all else - them. It ain't hard to work out.

The Statue of Liberty is just a statue (given to you, lest we forget, by those cheese eating surrender monkeys the French) with only a couple of hundred people inside and would have little effect. The Twin Towers is vital to the economy of the Whole Western World and destroying them is an attack on our way of living - aggressive capitalism - and not just some half baked notion of freedom. This question demonstrates your absolute lack of understanding of this subject - the geopolitcial, historical, ethical and governmental influences are completely ignored in favour of rhetorical jingoism.

---------------------------------

I'm happy to argue these points. Truth be told I enjoy it. What worries me is that this list of questions received relatively mainstream media attention. Questioning the questioners is always a good idea, but this list is presented as a valid argument when in truth all it is is another attempt to discredit anyone who doesn't swallow the 'truth.' The questions are loaded, speculative and based on little or no evidence - infact they read a little like a list of charges that must be defended.

I'm not sure what happened that day. No-one is. I don't buy anything the Administration says, but I also find it hard to believe that they swapped planes, changed serial numbers and murdered citizens. I think that there are a staggering amount of questions that need to answered and these so called '9/11 Truthers' are the only people asking them. Publicity like this does not help the learned person achieve any form of understanding in this world, it just helps to undermine them.

We Need Your Help

2006-10-04T19:36:00.000Z

Go Sheffo are a local fanzine that I occasionally write for. A couple of years ago they had an incredible idea to convert the now defunct cooling towers on the outskirts of Sheffield into giant works of art. Designs were submitted from people all over the world and the idea really caught the imagination of the local people.

Then they went and won the Channel 4 Public Art competition and the idea looked like it might just actually happen - especially when Antony Gormley, the artist behind the Angel of the North, backed them. This could be an amazing thing to happen to Sheffield, one that could cement our reputation as a leading artistic city and help shift the public impression of us beyond just Meadowhall and a dead steel industry.

But now they've hit a problem. Eon, the company who owns the Towers, have suddenly decided that they want to destroy them - something not even considered before this idea was mooted - and the Sheffield City Council, in another act of selling out the populace, have stated that the area is prime for retail regeneration. The last thing Sheffield needs is another large Meadowhall to squeeze more soul out of this city.

We need your help.

Please read the email below and help us out in anyway you can. It's desperately important that you sign the petition.

Thanks.

-----------------------------------

This is Sheffield calling. Our city needs your help.

We've had an idea to change the way the world sees Sheffield. To make our city better. It's a project called Cooling The Towers. But it's all under threat. Please take five minutes to read this email. Then forward it to everyone else.

This is the best idea Sheffield ever had.

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Cooling the Towers

There are two cooling towers on the edge of Sheffield, next to Meadowhall and the M1.

Currently they mean grey, industrial, Full Monty. Sheffield is over.

We want to turn them into massive works of public art that mean what Sheffield is now: green, creative and different. And amazing.

We've been working on this for two years and from running an initial competition for ideas in our fanzine GO ( www.dontgo.co.uk ), we're now working with Channel 4 as one of the winners of their Big Art Project ( www.channel4.com/bigart). Channel 4 love the idea, and have applied for funding to make it a reality. This is possible. We're almost there.

BUT there's a baddy in the story. They're a big baddy. The owners of the site are called Eon. They own Powergen. After four months of negotiations, and all our arguments for why this is a good idea (which you can find on our website) they've decided to knock the towers down and build another industrial shed.

Sheffield wins again.

We think this is too good an idea and too good a chance for Sheffield to just give up, and let them have their way. Knocking these towers down will be a tragedy.

So we need your help.

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What if you're not from Sheffield? This still affects you. It's just another example of A Big Corporation with no brains doing what they want and ignoring people like you and me. We're not luddites and we're not revolutionaries. We've just got a good idea and they're not interested in listening. Who decides how our cities develop, what they mean? Us or them?

----------------------------

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO:

SIGN THE PETITION
Someone's already set a petition up. You can see how strongly people feel. Sign it here http://www.petitiononline.com/tct2/petition.html

GO TO MYSPACE
We're working on a proper website, but for now this is the digital HQ. This is where you'll information and updates. Be our friend. Get your friends to be our friends. www.myspace.com/coolingthetowers

EMAIL EON
Tell them why they're wrong. For some sample text, click here. Email the chief exec here: paul.golby@eon-uk.com That's Dr Paul Golby to you. Evidently he's not got a doctorate in Doing The Right Thing. It only takes five minutes. Do it now.

TURN EON OFF
If you're a customer, tell them you'll change power suppliers if the towers are knocked down. In fact, just do it now. Why not go a bit greener? Eon produce more CO2 every year than the whole of Croatia. Change to Ecotricity www.ecotricity.co.uk/switch

SHOW YOUR FACE
We're going to create a photographic petition. As well as a list of names, we want to actually show the world how many people support these towers and this project. So if you do, take a picture of yourself, or the towers, or of you holding the phrase 'THE TOWERS ARE OURS' and send it to us with your name and location. We'll put it on the website. And tell your friends to do it too. Send it here go.sheffield@gmail.com

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We love this city so much. We're not going to sit back and watch it lose out again. We're tired of Sheffield being the loser. We want people across the world to know what this city means, realise how brilliant it is.

We don't want another toys r us.

Please help us.

Love from

GO X

Photoshopped propaganda

2006-10-03T19:52:00.000Z

Not much going on in my head these last few days, so instead enjoy these amusing photoshopped versions of classic propaganda posters. More here, or even more original ones here.

Outstanding levels of hypocrisy

2006-09-22T00:06:00.000Z

I love Bill O'Reilly. He's amazing. I love him. Truly madly deeply.

This is a man who cannot be sued for liable or defamation of character because you would have to prove he knew he was lying, and with O'Reilly it verges on pathological.

If you don't know who he is, his website is here and he looks like this:

This is a good clip of him, right here, right now:

The references to Jeremy Glick can be understood by watching this. Also amazing.

I've been a subscriber to his weekly e-letter for several years now, and it's brilliant. It's not only informed about American news, it's also an insight into the ravings of an ultra right-wing loudmouth and a great example of how to hide the fact you're an ultra right-wing loudmouth. I've resisted posting his emails before, but this new personal message is too good not to share.

I'd like you to read it, consider the argument, then read it again. Then consider he's the highest-rated broadcaster on Fox News. Then read it again. It's amazing!

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The Attack of the
Hyper-Partisans
Nothing stands in the way of their belief system. Not facts, not provable truth.

By Bill O'Reilly.

Are you a hyper-partisan? If so, stop it right now. These people are damaging America and I'm calling them out.

First, a definition: A hyper-partisan is a person who does not seek the truth; rather, he or she tailors information to fit a preconceived political viewpoint. What is actually happening in the world is not important to these ideological zombies; it's all about reinforcing their core beliefs.

Thus, no matter what President Bush does for example, he's wrong. There is absolutely nothing the man can do that would please the hyper-partisans who oppose him. On the opposite ideological page, Bill and Hillary Clinton are Satan's spawn. They are evil all day, every day.

How boring is this? If it were just a few Kool-Aid drinking nuts, no one would care. But now you have entire media outlets that have gone hyper-partisan. Newspapers like The Boston Globe and The Atlanta Journal-Constitution are just about entirely left wing. Yes, their circulations are in a freefall, but no journalistic enterprise should be hyper-partisan.

----------------------------

Brilliant! And this in the week that Fox launch their new religious brand, FoxFaith.
The world is going insane. Doublespeak doublespeak doublespeak.

--------------------------

UPDATE: Bill O'Reilly lies about being on an Al Qaeda 'deathlist'

I love this fucking guy...!

Relative

2006-09-19T01:32:00.000Z

Everytime I think about the state of the world, I think we're fucked. Can't help it. It's the way my mind works. I don't think the human race are evil, I just think we're stupid. I read the headlines and a picture of doomsday is painted in my mind.
For example, the headlines on Yahoo right now are:

Ignoring, for a second, any issue of press bias, political motivation, corporate agenda, financial interest or any other form of partisan journalism, lets just look at the headlines. It doesn't paint a pretty picture. Foreign wars, religious ideologies, errosion of civil liberties, political strife and natural disasters... and thats just an example.

(What I actually find most terrifying is that I have to suggest a waivering of thoughts about "press bias, political motivation, corporate agenda, financial interest or any other form of partisan journalism" before even talking about this, but thats another subject).

And lest we forget the stories that largely go unreported; the AIDS crisis in Africa, the grossly disproportional profits of Western corporations, the global threat of climate change. There is no mistaking that this is a fragile time for civilisation. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only person who thinks we're fucked... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who longs for the return of reason and charity to this world... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who thinks we're fucked.

But are we fucked? This is the first time of global crisis that I have lived through, the first period of civil and political unrest that I've experienced. The world is changing, and not in our favour (be that as either a western civilisation, or as a global populace), and although I have read about such times before, I've never lived through one. That also means I have no frame of reference.

Did it feel this dramatic during the Cuban Missile Crisis? The world truly teeted on the edge of destruction for a few days... or did it? I don't know, I wasn't there, and how do I know that history hasn't exaggerated it? How do I know that the arms race really was that threatening? Should I believe that documentary instead, the one that explained the arms race was just a construct designed to financially cripple an otherwise defunct communist system? I don't know. I wasn't there.

I only have history to use as a reference, and history has taught me that most modern day conflicts are politically motivated and are instigated and controlled by Western governments. Usually in the pursuit of oil. And we always win.

So what's up with the world? Are we really fucked? Are we really going to destroy ourselves this time? Is the earth going to do it for us instead? Have we cried wolf for the last time? Or is this just another period in human history where it's all suggested and implied, and in 20 years we'll look back and laugh? I don't know anymore.

The more I learn, the more I discover it's all a lie... but the more I see, the more I believe it's true. Is this time period just the same as the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Arms Race and just another example of our willingness to cocktease the idea of destruction, or is it the real deal?

Either way, I can't shake the feeling that we're being fucked with...

OK, Go...!

2006-09-14T11:16:00.000Z

I'd never seen this before, although obviously many other people have, but I think it's brilliant. OK Go on the treadmills.

9/11 Remembered

2006-09-11T12:57:00.000Z

I'd just like to go on record saying that I thought the daytime coverage by ITN news of the September 11th anniversary was stunning. In no way was it sensationalist, in no way did they revel in gory details, in no way did they gleefully overuse words like "carnage" and "massacre" and in no way did they flippantly cover the aftermath in the style of the Day Today. I thought their glorious close-ups of grieving children waving aloft pictures of lost parents was wonderfully subtle and not at all exploitative, and their interviews with family members did not patronise a single sole.

In short, bravo to our broadcaster of choice for a sensitive, balanced and entirely appropriate news item. It is nice to know that we can rely on your entirely professional broadcasts no matter what the news story, and at the same time be thankful that you will never explore a single subject that we, the audience, may find confusing or goes against the status-quo.

You're a credit to your profession.

Missing

2006-09-10T01:40:00.000Z

update: FOUND!

Came home. All is forgiven...

Plug

2006-09-07T01:43:00.000Z

Have you been to the Watch With Mothers review blog recently...?
It's really rather good.

Thank you, by the way, to all the people (3! Fuck me, I'm a hit aren't I) who posted comments on the functionality and viewability of the blog. Cheeers, nice to know it's viewable.

Also, there's some new photos up at Day of the Dave.

New Design

2006-09-05T00:53:00.000Z

I've made a few minor changes to the design, or rather template choice, of this blog and its sister site Day of the Dave. I've checked it with Internet Explorer and Firefox and, frankly, it looks weird and different on both. If you, my loyal 7 readers, could let me know how it looks to you, via the comments page, then that'd be great.

Right now I have a combination of either tiny links, no background, huge font size and no imagination. If you have any of those problems, none of those problems or a whole new bunch of problems then let me know.

The normal programming of angry ranting, bad theory and an over inflated sense of my own self importance will resume shortly.

Thank you.

Crocodile Tears

2006-09-04T14:37:00.000Z

As quoted on the Showroomers blog:

"how could one stingray pierce so many hearts?"

Steve Irwin. RIP.

currently listening to: Bachelorette - Bjork

Thanks alot Fox News!

2006-09-03T02:35:00.000Z

They've always hated me... and now they've exposed my alter-ego; a middle aged father of 1 who lives in sub tropical climes. This picture was taken from my audition tape as a William Shatner lookalike. I'm actually a spy who works directly for Karl Rove.

By the way, my latest novel is out - you may want to pick it up. It's about Joseph Stalin and his attempt to stage a broadway musical in order to boost his favour within the continental USA. Needless to say, it was a huge flop.

currently listening to: X,Y & Z - PWEI

Stop putting a dollar sign on everything

2006-08-30T22:51:00.000Z

Fuck you. Absolutely fuck you.
Just let us have one thing, just one piece of music, or one film, or one artwork, or something... something that we can call our own and keep for ourselves. Just one fucking piece of expression that does not get enveloped, chewed up, spat out and cheapened by you stupid, unimaginative cunts in your fucking advertising la-la land where only money and demographic spike points mean anything.

You have no souls. You have not one fucking inkling of what it means to have personal attachment to a piece of art, because if you did you wouldn't auction off the work of so many talented people to the highest bidding multinational, faceless fucking company. I am pleading with you, me the lowly serf to your towering example of misplaced societal power, I am pleading with you to leave us the fuck alone. I am pleading with you to leave just one stone unturned - one aspect of our lives that you do not cheapen and ruin in your pathological pursuit of AS MUCH MONEY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

You people are blind drones, wasting your creativity and tainting that of others with this worthless contribution to this world. You're fucking blights on the landscape, ruinous blots that take everything and giving nothing back. One day you will be held accountable for your actions - when the last billboard has been sold, the last song licensed and the last original idea stolen the people of this world will sit back and realise how you have destroyed the heart and soul of a once fertile land.

"What did you do when you were younger, Granddad?"
"Well, Granddaughter, I cheapened the emotional impact of music and art for millions of people so that I could sell them running shoes that they didn't need, and made a fortune off companies that exploited little brown and yellow people in far-away lands."
"Granddad, you're a prick."

currently listening to: the slow decline of western civilisation

McGuffin

2006-08-30T01:31:00.000Z

A mcguffin is a narrative device used by an author to instigate a series of events, motivate characters or advance the story. They are not intrinsic to the plot, as they only exist to serve one purpose, but their importance to character development and storyline is immense. An ambition of the main character, for example, is a mcguffin - it is a character trait that only exists to propel said character into the intended story arc. The briefcase in Pulp Fiction, for example, is a good mcguffin; the contents are never seen but they are important enough to push forward several storylines.

The wikipedia definition of a mcguffin here.

currently listening to: Behind Two Hills, A Swimming Pool - Mum (with an umlate)

Hate Rant

2006-08-28T17:04:00.000Z

You know who I hate at the moment...? Who is particulary irking me at this very moment in time? I'll tell you who; thieves. Chav. Scum. Thieves.

I hate them because we have had a spate of thefts recently and it's beginning to weigh on my mind. Myself and several friends have all been stolen from recently - from the Big Chill to a spate of burglaries in Sheffield, we've all lost money and belongings. It's not so much the loss of the things, or their monotary value, but their importance to us. Good friends of mine had all their laptops stolen from their house - the computers themselves are worth nothing, but the files and work on them are. Our video camera was taken from the same house, it'd be worth almost nothing second hand but the tape in it had footage we really needed. One friend lost 10,000 words of his writing...

It bothers me immensely because the value of the items to anyone else is directly proportional to their worth to us. They have some old and useless equipment, and we're set-back financially - so no gain for anybody there. We're not the sort of people who have nice things, we have ramshackle collections of technology that we bind together to serve our purposes, not expensive toys that can be replaced.

Most likely we are in the same financial situation as the burglars, and by their actions all they've done is continued the cycle of poor that exists where we live. Instead of us standing together against the huge corporate thieves who steal from our society everyday, or the government who taxes every aspect of life so they can make profits on arms sales, we are instead stealing from ourselves and making our own lives more difficult.

They have also made me stop leaving the back door open so the cats can come and go, and to prick up my ears everytime I hear a strange noise. Maybe these are good things, but I really resent the actions of others having an effect on the way I behave in my own home. It's also a largely illogical concern - where I live is secure and hard to get into, and I would certainly hear any intruder, but my heartbeat still increases when there's a strange bump.

It has made me appreciate the value of backing things up, though. Any combination of computer could be lost now and I'll still have the data. That's the most important thing.

Tonight I'm going to wait in the shed with a shotgun and shoot the first thing I see. That'll help matters.

currently listening to: Bob Dylan - Blowin' in the Wind

The news

2006-08-13T10:50:00.000Z

I can't read the news anymore. I just can't. It's too depressing.

I don't find it depressing in a 'state of the world' kind of way, although there is no denying that things seem to be slipping down our own moral blackhole faster than usual. What I find depressing is my relationship with the news... I am now too informed of the mechanics of the news industry and media at large to place any form of trust in them.

Before I was content to buy the Guardian and the Daily Mail, watch Channel 4 and ITV, log onto Fox and MediaLens and summarise that the truth is somewhere inbetween them all. Now I question whether anything really happened at all. It's not like I see conspiracy everywhere I look, but I feel that we have been lied to too many times, had our emotions played with too many times, and seen too many exposes of the 'truth' that our bluff has now been called. The press have become the boy crying wolf, and we are the villagers.

My first thought on the the Heathrow terrorist plot was disbelief. Not fear, or interest, but disbelief. I rolled my eyes and muttered 'whatever.' I don't doubt that this threat was imminent, and I entirely believe that the police and lawmakers did what was neccessary to prevent it going ahead. In fact, I'm thankful that they moved when they did and that the operation was a success, but when it comes to details I am incapable of believing anything I have been told.

The next day was the kicker. I had come to terms with my mistrust, and then I saw the headlines of the tabloids. The shock value of these papers, and their outright manipulation of truth and emotion is nothing new, but I simply refuse to place my confidence in any organisation that reprints pictures of 9/11 in a gratuitous and tittilating way. Particulary an organistaion that focuses on creating fear of what could have happened, rather than analysis of what did happen.

Tabloid hackery is tabloid hackery and, short of a missile attack on the offices of the Daily Mail, will be around a lot longer than it has any right to be. What I truly resent is how this approach to reporting is having a negative effect on all forms of reporting. The commentary pages of UK newspapers are begining to resemble a Fox News broadcast - not in the extremity of their opinions, but rather in an increased polarisation of left and right. You can either be on one side or the other, you can either be pro-Israel or pro-Lebanon, do you support the USA or not, are you a soft liberal who believes in human rights or a hardnosed righwinger who wants to see all detainees hang? We have lost our scope for rational thought, as if even our press have been caught up in lunacy of the argument and objectivity is a thing of the past.

In the Observer today there is a column entitled 'Why Zionists Must Stop Seeing Conspiracy Everywhere' or something to that effect. The column makes some good arguments against liberal paranoia, and some good arguments for it, but the crux of the article - reading between the lines - is that you must be either one or the other. If you support the feeling that Western foreign policy is a prime motivation behind terrorist recruitment, then you must also believe that all terror plots and threats against the country are made up by our government to control us. And vice versa. The voice of the middle ground - of rationality, or logic, or a bigger picture than tomorrows sales - has been lost.

Speaking as someone who could probably be descibed as leftwing, or liberal, or a communist, I resent having my well-thought out arguments and opinions reduced to a descriptive term. I find myself being labelled in a negative fashion alongside anybody who doesn't follow the official Western line... and all these little comments, and comparisons, and articles - they all contribute to a slow socialisation of thought until anybody who offers a rational, non-biased opinion becomes an enemy of state.

According to Front Page Magazine, Noam Chomsky is the most dangerous professor in America. Not the man who set up the website who claims to represent freedom by silencing his opponents, but the respected lecturer who offers a sociological world view and one of the most fecund ontologies in the modern media.

Life is not about black and white, and right and wrong, but about understanding and co-operation. That may be a soft, liberal, hippy, traitorous comment that illustrates how much I hate freedom and love Osama, but I promise we'll survive alot longer than if we just bomb the fuck out of anyone who disagrees.

currently listening to: religious children

Recruitment

2006-08-09T21:59:00.000Z

This is the front cover of a Christian flyer that was handed to my housemate a few months ago.

Remarkable, non? Here's the inside front cover.

I draw your attention to the boxout at the bottom of the page. To make it easier to read I have enlarged the area. My apologies for the blur.

I think in this instance I don't need to say anymore. Any further comments on religion praying on the weakminded would counter my argument.

It's just fucking amazing isn't it? Best. Recruitment. Flyer. Ever.

currently listening to: A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan

Been a long time (shouldn't have left you)

2006-08-08T21:55:00.000Z

Hmmm. My erstwhile mutterings have slowed down of late. I'd apologise, but I'm not that sort of guy - sorry.

I have been overly preoccupied with my photo blog recently, which is alot of fun but also an easy way of updating without actually trying. I always liked taking pictures, and I wasn't too bad at it either, but I think I need to try something new... I just checked out the 65daysofstatic blog and they have some new snaps up that kinda put my shots of them to shame.

I just got back from the Big Chill festival - my good friend Andy from Digitonal was playing and very kindly threw a complimentary ticket my way. He also very kindly sorted me out when, on the first night, someone came into my tent while I was sleeping and stole all my money.

At least they left the camera, huh?

The Big Chill is an odd festival... it's like the entire readership of the Guardian having a large picnic together. Families, hippies, media-types, liberals and artists all come together once a year to listen to world music and be polite to each other. Luckily, this is exactly what I like. After years of attending the corporate behemoths that is Reading/Leeds and feeling threatened by the tweenagers getting drunk for the first time, the Big Chill is a really nice alternative.

These days I enjoy sitting in a field drinking my body weight in rum, listening to music and talking to friends. The days of drugs and dancing are way behind me now... and I'm kind of thankful for that. I enjoy buying into the Big Chill spirit for a while, knowing that I'm not the only one; I like that everyone is nice to each other, that we all clean up our rubbish at the end, that you can do what you like without feeling scorn or riddicule. Y'know, all those things that we should do in real life.

After doing Truckfest and Glade in the last few weeks I was quite tired of festivals and slightly reluctant to go - I certainly couldn't be doing with anymore sleepless nights in a tent. The moment I got there though - and it should be pointed out that the Big Chill takes place amongst the most spectacular rolling hills - it all fell back into place, and I was home.

You can see the photos over at the, yup you guessed it, Day of the Dave photo blog.

currently listening to: Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody

I mean... come on...!

2006-07-24T17:35:00.000Z

currently listening to: Summertime - Will Smith

upmarket

2006-07-01T00:55:00.000Z

Tomorrow I move.

Tomorrow I move for the first time in 4 years. Parental address aside, that's the longest I've ever stayed anywhere. It's a good flat, ideally located for both friends and local services. rent is cheap and while the landlords are slow to move, they are at least sympathetic. Downsides include proximity to traffic, pubs and local drunks, asshole jeweller downstairs, ludicrous gas, electric, water and council tax rates and the fact that it's freezing half the year and roasting the other half.

Truth be told I'm glad to see it go. It's a bit of a shithole. Problem is is that it's my shithole, and I kind of love it. Huxley, my resident flatmate, and I have shared this place with no less than 10 other people over the years, we've had it near empty and filled beyond capacity. We've had a few good parties, many memorable moments and a veritable plethora of people pass through. Nostalgia is still what is used to be, and while I look forward to a nicer, cleaner, quieter life, I shall still miss this place. Earlier I sat with tears in my eyes as my I perused the sticker collection on my desk (that I shall be leaving behind) and actively mourned the years. I did the same when it came to throwing out half my VHS collection, I stared misty-eyed at the covers of classics I bought a decade previously and fell in love with outdated format all over again.

This must stop. I am moving into a lovely new house that my friend Jacqui has bought. This is a picture of her describing a cube.

It's a deliberate attempt to grow up. It's also the reason that I will be offline for at least a couple of weeks.

My room is bared, 'cept a computer, a bed and a bag of rubbish. It looks like a squat, and since technically our lease ran out two hours and five minutes ago, it is.

See you on the other side.

currently listening to: Sweet Child of Mine - you know who

Erstwhile musings

2006-06-22T00:06:00.000Z

Y'know...
...if I'm honest, I don't really know what 'erstwhile' means. I just thought it sounded good.

Anyway. I have been slightly absent from this blog recently. This is for several (7veral) reasons:
1) Not a great deal has been happening recently.
2) I have returned to work.
3) I do have a girlfriend, y'know.
4) And friends... who I hang out with!
5) That 1,5000,000 score on Tony Hawk was so hard to get.
6) Arrested Development: Fucking Genuius.
7) I have beem writing for several other blogs,

Please check out the Media Lounge blog which is full of annoying opinions on movies and various elemnets of geekdom. Especially Superman, which is really pissing me off right now. Have you seen the third trailer? Good god! It looks terrible. Shame as the poster is really nice.

I've also been writing for the World Cup blog Curled Wup. The sport of hooligans is a subject I know nothing about, which is why it's great fun to rubbish football online. There are many contributors to Curled Wup and they are terrific writers so, football fan or not, I urge you to read it.

Christ. This sounds like a newsletter.

My photo blog is now online and updated every other day or so. Day of the Dave. Obvious, non?

Christ, this is a newsletter. Here's a photo that didn't make the photo blog.

Wasn't good enough, you see...

currently listening to: Mutineer - Warren Zevon

Sunday Morning, 9am.

2006-06-18T08:37:00.000Z

9.36 to be precise. I'm at work and the whole place smells of tar.

Today the world can bite my shiny metal ass.

currently listening to: nothing but the roar of traffic

the exception that proves the rule

2006-06-16T16:21:00.000Z

Time does not fly if you having fun. It's been three weeks since I returned from tour and I can barely tell you where the time has gone.

Five weeks away felt like five weeks away. Every day was different and gave you something unique to remember it by. The day was a full day and you lived it... when I came home after five weeks my body looked like it had aged five weeks, and I had physical and mental scars to prove I had seized each day.

Three weeks at home feels like any non-discriminate time period. You have no unique or notable events with which to meausre the passing of time... shifts at work blend into one shift at work, evenings at home blend into one condensed memory of being at home, even the standout days become either last Wednesday or the Wednesday before that.

I have yet to shake the feeling of confusion, I am approaching my life at home in the same haphazard lack-of-information way that I handle life on tour and it's leaving me displaced and scatty. The first few days back at work nearly drove me to desperate acts they were so removed from the experiences I'd been having.

A heroin addict once described to me the rush of being out on the streets at 4am looking to score. Drug dependancy aside, she most enoyed the feeling that she was doing something most others weren't, that she was awake on the streets when others were asleep, that she knew people and a subculture that existed far from the eyes of the daywalkers and that gave her feelings of confidence and security. That's pretty similar to how I felt, and I didn't have to jam a needle in my arm to get it.

currently listening to: a fan, by my ear, at work.

Right to reply

2006-06-14T23:41:00.000Z

By the way, as a means of conveniance for my fine readers out there I have altered the 'comment' section so that anyone can reply, as opposed to just members of Blogger.
Hope that helps.

currently listening to: Johnny Cash - Rock Island Line

cracked

2006-06-11T16:02:00.000Z

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

My friend, who works in a pub, found something interesting whilst cleaning up last night; a bag of crack. It had been carelessly left on a table in the backroom, weighed, separated, bagged and left in plain view for all to see, and with no-one in the area willing to claim it as their own.

This can mean only one thing: that someone, right now, in the middle of Sheffield, is absolutely, totally, utterly, losing it. They have not only left their own supply, but also the supply of a lot of other people (it was ALOT of crack) and they know where it is - they just can't go get it because they would expose themselves. They are very unpopular right now and panicking like never before and there is nothing they can do about it.

I find this fascinating... this knowledge. There may be a million stories in the naked city, but this is a really good one.

currently listening to: mutterings

footy footy footy... ball ball ball

2006-06-11T15:59:00.000Z

Not one of my favourite subjects, which is exactly why I'm currently writing for another blog about the world cup. Opposing viewpoint, or something like that.

Curled Wup blog is here, go read.

currently listening to: the whirring of a fan, right by my ear

Unlucky Fried Kitten

2006-06-09T12:19:00.000Z

We have kittens, they are unbearably cute. The black one is called Mooch and the ginger one is called Hobbes.

currently listening to: Kids With Guns - Gorillaz

Je suis retourne...

2006-06-08T15:48:00.000Z

...with a vengeance...

Hid for about two days...

...went to a music festival with Isobel and got confused...

...developed a severe case of the sniffles and the coughfles...

...went back to work...

...kinda done some work...

...should be doing more work...

...I no-longer know who I am and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger...*

*Rules of Attraction: European Vacation

currently listening to: Folsom Prison Blues -Johnny Cash

Good news

2006-05-26T03:32:00.000Z

Best news I have heard in weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks... etc.

Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted of conspiracy and fraud Thursday by a federal jury that laid blame for one of the biggest business scandals in U.S. history squarely on Enron Corp.'s two former top executives.

currently listening to:

Go, Go! Sheffo!

2006-05-24T20:44:00.000Z

The Go Sheffo boys were front page of the Society Guardian today. Click here to read the article.

In Cardiff tonight. Saw the little sister, Was great.

currently listening to: Morning After Girls live

Just one more thing...

2006-05-22T17:57:00.000Z

We were sitting in an Edwards chain restaurant in Liverpool last night and I gots ta thinkin'.

Edwards isn't a terrible restaurant, maybe a step up from Wetherspoons (so, actually, yes, a truly terrible restaurant as Wetherspoons is officially the 7th level of culinary hell) but its dedicated to consumer culture is quite overwhelming, it should get an award or something. Ignoring the neutral decor, child like squishy seats and beautiful-from-a-distance-yet-horrific-close-up bar staff, the chain has become a real-life representation of Aldous Huxleys Brave New World.

I know that popular culture and Huxley have oft been compared so I know I'm not saying anything original here but... wow, did I have a revelationary moment. There were video screens in a line on every wall, each showing the same turgid content - and this was the clinched - random, repeated, shots of celebrities, intercut with adverts for exotic drinks. That's it, nothing more, nothing less - no purpose to the celebrity shots, no break for anything - just a relentless barrage of celebrity and drink.

Now, it's very easy to write this off as another example of the "Heat Magazine Generation" (copywrite: Heat Magazine) but I see something far more sinister. I see a slow form of solicialisation, of thought control. Much more subtle than the Ministry that Bernard Marx worked in, but equally as effective. Instead of Soma for the Edwards patrons to consume they offer Bacardi, instead of the competitive classes to discuss they have celebs they do and don't like...

Edwards Restuarant reminded me of the bastard spawn of Aldous Huxley and Anthony Burgess, midwifed by Rupert Murdoch. Soon we were all depressed and starring vacantly at the screen. It is a dangerous place.

The best description I ever heard of our current society is that we are "not a democracy, but a capitalist dictatorshhip." I can't remember where I heard it, which is a shame as I think it is a perfect phrase to descibe the world I see around me. The problem with using phrases like "capitalist dictatorship" is that you immediately lose any credibility because you sound like a 14 year old radical.

They've got us any which way we turn.

currently listening to: general requests to use my computer

Playing catch up...

2006-05-22T17:03:00.000Z

It's been a hectic few days... in fact since we started touring back in the UK it's been almost unrelentingly hectic. The most notable difference I have spotted between mainland Europe and the UK (aside that is from the rain, bad food, expensive services and rude, if not completely absent, promoters) is the lack of wireless connections. Actually, I stand corrected, there are plenty of wireless connections, just none that are easy to hack into.

It was grand to be back at the Brighton Concorde - a wonderfully run down little seafront venue. I spent a great few hours sat on the pier reading Don Quixote, then numerous hours sat behind a merchandise stand listening to a procession of bad teenage rock bands. After the gig we stood on the beach in the midst of a torrential downpour and screamed at the ocean... despite it being more than a little Home and Away, it was very therapeutic and immensely satisfying.

The next day, Saturday, has quickly entered lore as the day in which everything went wrong. Best described as a series of unfortunate events that quickly turned into a catalogue of disasters before morphing quite impressively into a unprecedented run of acts from a vengeful God. Involving snapped car keys, the pouring rain, terrible venues, late nights, tow trucks, irate London drivers, parking fines, parking clamps, missing equipment and London traffic on a Saturday it will not be forgotten in a hurry.

There is an old Garfield sketch that I remember from years ago; Garfield has woken up and says something akin to "it's Monday morning, the floor is cold, the heating doesn't work, my breakfast isn't ready and there's some dude wailing the blues on the radio. It's all so perfectly depressing I can't wipe the grin off my face." That's kind of how I felt about the whole affair.

The main support band for this tour are a lovely bunch of Aussies called The Morning After Girls. It's always much more fun if you like the bands you're touring with... on the Hundred Reasons tour we were stuck with a band called Keiko who, a few nice personalities aside, were largely insufferable and made terrible music. Morning After Girls, luckily, are great on both accounts. They were alot of help when we got to Liverpool which, as is the custom is whenever we play there, was pissing it down and was largely empty.

Now we're in Glasgow after leaving the hotel way too early this morning. Damo is trying to sleep next to me, but has just said that he's "really tired and is trying to not let the taping annoy me but how long will you be?"

I'm done.

currently listening to: Murder She Wrote

Some more phone snaps...

2006-05-22T16:48:00.000Z

Ampitheatre at Pompei...

A renegade of funk. And cushions.

65squared.

Vote Communista!

Fist of defiance.

Disturbing likeness of me as a book cover.

Hip Hop star Simon W

Paul relaxes...

currently listening to: nowt but the voices in my head. That's not a band.

The Lost Post

2006-05-22T16:45:00.000Z

This was found on my machine shortly after we returned from the European tour. Written but never read, whimiscal but nauseating, aspiring but cliched. At my very best.

Well, it's almost over. The first 65dos Europe tour has reached its final night. I write this from an exceptionally nice venue in Brugge where we have been afforded every courtesy and had a very mellow lead up to the last show. Typically we are full of either distant melancholy or a kind of psychotic happiness, a few of us are choosing to simply switch between the two in a spirited attempt to ignore the inevitable; tomorrow we are going home.

It is only for a few days to give us time to sleep in our own beds, see our very tolerant nearest and dearest, sort out a spot of business and maybe let the burnt skin peel off. I for one am looking forward to shaving my head. The tour continues in the UK but Europe is now over, and I think that's why I feel more regret at leaving than anticipation at returning. It has been an awesome few weeks - at once stressful, hectic, hilarious, inspiring, educational, testing, exhausting and more than a little gross. I feel I have seen the parts of Europe that I would never had as a traveller or a tourist, and met so many different people who would never have crossed my path in any way.

It teaches you alot - about how well you relate to other people, about what comforts you need to survive, and what you can do without. It streamlines your thoughts and gives you an insight into what is really important, and what is just surplus in the real world. It also forces you to try new experiences, to improvise when most necessary and to keep yourself on your toes. That's what I'll most miss.

Hmmm. Seemingly not finished either.

currently listening to: Paul typing next to me

Aaaaand we're back...

2006-05-18T17:16:00.000Z

...on tour.

After the briefest of sojurns at home with friends and a glimmer of a moment spent with my girlfriend we left bright this morning for Brighton on a week long Kerrang / Barfly / Travelodge tour. I wish I could grumble about that as I dislike at least two if not all of those but truth be told, I'm by the sea and the sun is shining. That tends to take away any political / cultural / personal differences you may have.

While I did manage to get a fair amount done during my time at home, the thing I am most proud of is reorganising my bookshelf to look an appropriate level of disary whilst simultaneously remaining perfectly balanced. I feel I seized that day!

currently listening to: Tetris

Dawn of the Dave

The Genius Contingent

Rose Tinted TV

Octaganarian Profanity

For Sale

Everything Went Wrong / I am 30

Save the Tinsley Towers

Walk Hard

Letter to HSBC

Ernest Goes Online

There is No Smoking Whilst Reading This Blog

Photos

Animal

Liverpool Lord Nelson Hotel

The Distant and Mechanised Glow of a Van on Fire

Hello...? Is anybody still there?

Scraps from a Wasted Mind

Humbug

Strongbow

Быстрая Поездка в Москву

Aaron Stout - Spacestation

Where to be, what to did

65daysofstatic - Don't Go Down to Sorrow

The Jeremy Irons Story

Different Strokes

Jesus Camp

Catflap

Hopes for the Future

Shutdown Day 2007

Movie News

Mood swings

Down and Out in France and Sheffield

Busy Bee

65/5/2007

Awesome TV

New Photos

16 Years Ago...

Save the Tinsley Towers video

Crossover Advertising

Same but different

Spammed

Media Lounge Top 30

Two Things

Cause for Concern

Poppies for Sale

Sabbatical

Sayonara Japan

Playing Catch-up...

Third and final night..

Post 100!

Speedy sleeplessness

Stiletto

Made it...

General Matters

Japanified

Heroic cross-platform marketing

Updated Dead

Caroline Hustings... where are you?????

Our man in Qatar

Meet the Moustache...

Art vs Commerce...

New Music Video

Daemons

A little gossip, a few thoughts and a handful of concerns...

I've met somebody

The circle is complete

We Need Your Help

Photoshopped propaganda

Outstanding levels of hypocrisy

Relative

OK, Go...!

9/11 Remembered

Top 25 stories ignored by the media in the past year

Missing

Plug

New Design

Crocodile Tears

Thanks alot Fox News!

Stop putting a dollar sign on everything

McGuffin